*Full Indonesia Gallery Below*

Our last day in Yogyakarta, like the day before, started around 0330 to head out for the sunrise over the Borobudur complex. It had rained the day before, and the sky was clear, which made for a very different look to things. It was beautiful… a fire of orange and pink and purple, but in my opinion lacked some of the magic from the prior day when the jungle and distant volcanoes were draped in a gentle covering of mist and clouds. Some of the same stereotypes were there to experience the magic: a young white girl with her own genie pants and batik prints in addition to the issued sarong, swaying to some unheard rhythm as the sun rose, positioning herself right in front of the best photography area (her boyfriend, with matching genie pants and a headlamp…. had a conical braided pony tail that maintained a diameter of maybe 2-3 millimeters at the distal end). Nobody was posing provocatively on the stupas this morning though. It was very pretty, and we took a little more time exploring the carved reliefs on multiple levels before leaving the complex for the last time. It’s really incredible, and well maintained.

The train ride back to Jakarta was filled with far less adventure (or, terror, depending on your perspective). We triple checked our train and seats with uniformed personnel, and felt much more confident this time around as the train departed the station. We had “executive” level seats for the return trip, which meant reclining airline type seats and a couple of flat screen televisions playing Hollywood B-movies with Indonesian subtitles. The train was supposed to be air-conditioned… and compared to the muggy outdoor temperature, it was. From our coddled perspective, however, it was boiling lava hot on that train. Our sensitive disposition requires low humidity and temperatures preferably in the mid-seventies. It would appear that this is quite the unreasonable expectation in this part of the world. After a few hours of fitful napping, waking up drenched in enough sweat to make you question whether your tuberculin skin test may no longer be negative, the thought did cross my mind to complain. Maybe just gently complain. I’m pretty sure it at least briefly crossed all of our minds. Ashley was down to a tank top and had her pant legs hiked up, and had a glistening sheen of sweat as she was fanning herself. Meanwhile, two of the guys in front of us had heavy hooded jackets on. Say what??? I’m not kidding. Heavy. Hooded. Jackets. We’re looking at each other dumbfounded when, the lady directly in front of Martha (who was already wearing a heavy long-sleeved shirt and had her head wrapped and covered) puts on a down parka. Now, admittedly, it wasn’t a down parka you’d wear in, say, Boston in winter. But really?! I mean, thin or not, what is wrong with these people? Ok, well, it was most of the people on the train, so…. in that case…. what is wrong with us??? Maybe the copious air conditioning in Florida has turned us into weaklings.

Well, it was agreed by all that the first, cheaper train ride turned out to be a fortuitous mistake. The executive level still gave us plenty of discomforts to complain about, and the windows were fogged over, shatter resistant plexiglass covered in grime. The pictures of the countryside on the way there were through an open window with a cool breeze, and the view made the ride much more enjoyable, even if the seats were less comfortable. For a train ride in Indonesia, I recommend trying a couple levels of service (you may not have a choice anyway).

The executive train brought us to a closer (and nicer) train station in Jakarta, and we browsed around a bit in a local mall in the evening. For the last day we’re planning a relaxed pace, just a few small stops around Jakarta. Our return flight departs at 2200 from Jakarta… connect in Seoul…. fly to Los Angeles…. connect in Dallas…. and then, finally, hopefully, make it home to Jacksonville, Florida at 2330 on Christmas eve. It’s gonna be a long, tiring journey.

This has been quite the whirlwind tour in a couple weeks…. some places we’ve been, and a number of places we haven’t. It definitely hasn’t been a ‘relaxing’ trip, but it’s been fun, it’s been exciting, and it’s been memorable. Like many of the places we’ve visited, the short time we’ve been there has left us wanting more and planning future visits. However, to some extent it feels like we’ve sampled most of the high points of this region, and maybe the next trip(s) will start in other parts of the world. Thanks for reading! Sadly, it may be a while until our next updates… hopefully not too long.

Now, granted…. there might be a few older ladies there that really, um, get into the spiritual experience of the place. Maybe they’ve taken a few Jazzercise yoga classes and figure they’re well on their way to enlightenment after a relaxing trip to Bali and a visit to Borobudur. As far as I’m concerned though, the accompanying chanting was a little distracting. It should be a rule that only locals are allowed to chant. Oh yeah, and I can’t leave out the clan of Russians having their wives/sisters/daughters posing provocatively in super short dresses with the Buddha statues.

Luckily though, pictures don’t come with a soundtrack… and their were few enough people there during our sunrise visit that the pictures aren’t cluttered with wandering tourists. A few hours after we left and had breakfast, trolley cars emerged one after another, unleashing endless loads of tourists into the hot, humid, mid-morning sun like a swarm of locusts. Well, we enjoyed our visit though, and visited a couple smaller temple complexes nearby. And for the record, if I was getting templed out, it didn’t feel that way at Borobudur.

Without further ado, here’s a few of the pictures from today, we’re hoping to watch another sunrise at the temple tomorrow morning before heading back to Jakarta:

And yes, the sarongs are mandatory. They literally issue them when you enter the temple.

The train station in Jakarta (a secondary station where the economy and local lines run) was gritty, but no worse than anything you’d encounter in India. As our 0745 departure approached, we started paying closer attention to the trains arriving. The local lines that had subway car type seating were easy to rule out, but as other unmarked passenger trains arrived on our track we were concerned that we might not be able to identify our train. When one arrived that seemed like a candidate, we approached a local man waiting on the same track who had been unabashedly gawking at us for the entire time we’d been there. We asked him if this was our train and showed him our ticket, and he replied that it was the next train. Well, the next train arrived about 0740, and we asked him again: “Is this ours?” to which he nodded and smiled without hesitation.

The only markings on the train were the numbered cars. We ran down to car five, and found our assigned seats (6 a,b,c). Many of the seats were getting occupied by people boarding the train, but our seats remained empty. We jockeyed for overhead space to secure our backpacks and got settled in for the journey. We all agreed that for an “economy” fare, the setup was pretty decent: the seats were well padded, there was an overhead fan and a nice breeze from the windows…. totally doable. We enjoyed the ride for a bit, an urban landscape of shacks and dilapidated buildings covered in graffiti sweeping by, slowly transitioning to rural farms and flat sweeping rice paddies.

Maybe an hour and a half went by and a few stations out we made a stop where a lot more passengers boarded. A woman and her daughter came up to us and said that we were in their seats. “Say what?” … A guy next to Ashley double checked our tickets and nodded, delivering the potentially quite unfortunate news: “You’re on the wrong train. This is the ‘business’ train and you need the ‘economy’ train.”

Scheissen….

Well, the first thing to do was of course to give up our seats to the lady. But then what? The train was already out of the station. Before we had much time to think about it, a local man a few rows ahead got up and told us to follow him. We followed him up to one of the front cars of the train where there were several soldiers and police officers. There was an open table with benches and they offered that to us. After inspecting our ticket they said that the train we were supposed to be on was the one right behind us and that we could get off at the next stop and wait for that one. However, when we got to the next stop (about 30-60 minutes later) they said it would be ok to just stay on the business train if we wanted to. They said the “economy” train was nicer, with real A/C and such…. kind of a weird concept, as it appears “business” is a lower class than “economy” from what we understood. The face price on the business tickets was less, so it made sense.

We decided to just stay on the business train rather than risk screwing things up again in a really big way at some random train station in rural Indonesia. It made for an interesting train ride and we talked with a few soldiers and police along the way. We also met a military academy student who wanted to practice English and we all chatted a while. The scenery across Java was really beautiful, slowly transitioning into hilly terrain with mountains in the distance and occasional tunnels. A number of guides recommended the train ride from Jakarta to Yogyakarta as a worthwhile trip for the views alone, and I have to agree. That being said, when the eight hour journey came to an end, we were all pretty glad to get off that train in Yogyakarta. As we disembarked there, the man that originally helped us passed by and said “You made it!” with a pat on the shoulder.

The train station had phones available for use like in India where you just pay after the phone call is done for the minutes used to an attendant. That was very helpful to let the people at Manohara (our hotel) know we’d arrived 30 minutes early. We rode to our hotel (actually on the Borobudur grounds, about an hour drive) without incident, and it was a real relief to be met with welcome drinks and first class service. After a little dinner, we were all out for the night, pretty exhausted. We needed to be up for the sunrise tour, ready to go by 0430, so it was good to get to bed early for once on this trip.

For a transit day, it sure felt like a lot happened.

***Full Malaysia gallery below***

Martha took a pass on all the mosques we came across in India, so visiting Masjid Jamek was a first for both her and Ashley. It’s been a really pleasant surprise in Malaysia that the tourist attractions (that is, places that happen to attract tourists rather than places designed with that as the sole purse) are generally hassle free and even free of charge. The Batu Caves yesterday had no entry fee, we went the entire day without encountering a single tout of any sort, and several of the shops were very quaint with interesting and reasonably priced goods. If the Batu Caves were in China, they would be a nightmare: huge lines to pay an inflated admission price and further charges for anything interesting inside, people harassing you for cheesy group photos, scammers and touts, swarms of tourists ambling in all directions, aggressive shopkeepers hawking garbage. In Malaysia though, the place made for a really relaxed, pleasant day. While several of the mosques in India we visited actually had admission charges, Masjid Jamek (the most notable mosque in Kuala Lumpur) had no admission fee and actually seemed very inviting to tourists. It was a real surprise to me. I have to say, Malaysia seems to be “missing the boat” somewhat on the tourist thing…. other countries try to squeeze every dime they can out of you for anything that might be interesting or worthy of group photos. I digress though…

We started out today running over to the Patronas Towers to get tickets to visit the observation deck in the afternoon. They only issue 1200 tickets per day so you need to get there early to be able to get them (another example of the contrast versus many other countries that would just pack people shoulder to shoulder endlessly). For the morning, we headed over to Masjid Jamek. Photos of the mosque were nice and all, but the main source of entertainment for the group was Martha and Ashley being required to don headscarves and robes. We mostly just strolled the grounds of the mosque being irreverent chuckleheads taking funny pictures.

Outside the mosque we hailed a taxi to take us to another market in the “Chinatown” of KL. The cab driver actually told us that it was a fairly short walk and gave us walking directions instead of taking us. WTF??!!! If this was any other of a number of other countries that cabby would’ve happily picked us up and drove us around in circles for a while to get a fare from us. Chinatown was…. well Chinatown. It’s always the same garbage, endless counterfeit goods and junky trinkets. Nearby was the “Central Market” though, which had some of the only vendors selling real Malaysian goods that we’ve encountered. I highly recommend that market as a first stop. Most of the shops you encounter elsewhere are only stocked with goods from other countries: Taiwan, Korea, Japan, etc.

Later in the afternoon, we visited the Patronas Towers. Beautiful buildings and beautiful views. As those sorts of things go, the experience was rather regimented and boring, but the price was reasonable and they didn’t waste your time trying to hard sell you on any other stuff like photos or whatever. The elevators are a bit cramped…. although for us they may have been made a bit more cramped by an Aussie couple with multiple unruly children. The father was holding a preschool aged boy in his arms as we rode the elevator and whispered into his ear (ok maybe not a whisper):

“You can fly. Spread your wings and fly!”

***Kid then spreads his arms out, knocking a few people in the head a few times***

I mean really? Maybe the kid is old enough to learn that birds (and planes) need open space to fly. Flying in a crowded elevator isn’t going to go well for anyone.

Well, that about wraps up our time in KL. We closed out the last night at the “Sky Bar” at Traders Hotel.

Martha and Ashley had purchased the strings of flowers and offerings of milk to bring up the hillside into the caves. There’s a very large run of stairs going up the hill, flanked by a giant gold statue on one side, and a small temple on the other side. After getting up a few flights of stairs. this monkey comes bounding down the stairs and crosses Martha and I both before accosting Ashley. He goes straight for her bag of flowers and milk and grabs hold of it with both hands trying to snatch it from her. Ashely didn’t let go at first and there were a few seconds where she was playing tug of tar with this little monkey. The realization that she was in the midst of a physical altercation with a wild monkey in Malaysia may have hit her shortly thereafter, and with that she let go of her offering bag. The monkey tore into it and grabbed the bottle of milk and ran off with it on a handrail next to the stairs. We were all looking at this monkey in disbelief.

I said: “Alright monkey, now what? You’re not gonna be able to open that bottle of milk.”

Just then, the monkey opens the bottle of milk, stabilizing it with his feet and removing the screwcap with both hands.

“Well played, monkey.”

What more can you say? He starting dumping the milk and lapping it up with one hand, displaying utter contempt for our petty offerings.

The caves were beautiful though, and the experience at this tourist attraction provided a nice window to just how different Malaysia is from anywhere else we’ve visited in Asia. This destination was very much Hindu, and much of it felt like a visit to India. The music, the incense, the explosive bright colors everywhere, the smells from the food stalls… a great bit of it seemed like it could be somewhere in India.

There were a few fruit stands amongst the food vendors, and one of them had a big stock of Durian for sale. Ashley had been saying she wanted to try it, so we had to take the opportunity. After being assaulted by monkeys, it seemed like a good idea to just relax and enjoy some ripe, freshly cut Durian. I ate a bit of a small piece, and yes, it’s still pretty offensive to the senses…. but, I can handle it. I don’t know that that’s a good thing, but there it is. Now, Ashley…. well, hmmm…. Ok, I won’t put up any pictures, but let’s say that if you know her, she’d really appreciate any Durian related products: candy, liquor, pastries, handicrafts. You name it, if it’s Durian-related, it is likely to warm Ashley’s heart. It’s all she can talk about. Anyhow, here I am about to enjoy some Durian:

You may also take note of the monkey at the top of the page, enjoying the last of the Durian we bought. They got a little hostile over the Durian. We drew the line at giving them our Mangosteens though.

So, after our little day trip to the Batu Caves, we returned back to Trader’s Hotel for “Cocktail Hour,” which was completely civilized and just lovely:

Dinner time brought us out to a night market for some street food. The food was great. The service was beyond lousy. So far, really enjoying Kuala Lumpur though. It’s a very interesting city with such a diverse mix of cultures that it’s really hard to pin down the essence of the people and the place.

Back at Trader’s late…. the view of the Patronas Towers is amazing from our place.

*Full South Korea gallery below*

Forget about a sample 1 day itinerary…. we only had the morning to get a taste of Seoul before heading back to the airport.

We stayed at “Toyoko Inn” in Dongdaemun (The same Japanese hotel chain we stayed at in Tokyo), which was very conveniently located. The requisite Toyoko Inn complimentary breakfast had some distinctly Korean accouterments like pickled radish and such, an interesting contrast having just come from the same chain in Japan. However, just like the location in Monzen-Nakacho, the clientele were mostly business men, and we were the only westerners staying at the large and busy hotel.

After breakfast and check out, we were picked up for a guided city tour starting at 9 a.m. We were picked up in a mid-sized tour bus, but the three of us were the only tourists booked for the morning. From briefly reading the itineraries offered by these groups, most of the “city tour” companies add in at least one stop to try and hard sell you on some product or another (i.e.: ginseng, amethyst), most likely with the tour operator receiving kick backs from the proprietor. Well, after introductions with our tour guide, we explained our situation: 23 hours total in Seoul, flight at 1600 today (arrive Incheon airport by 1400, leave hotel by 1200). That’s a pretty damn tight timeline! Our tour guide seemed to get it immediately and from that point things really kicked into gear. Lollygagging was not tolerated whatsoever.

“You need hurry. No more pictures.”

“Better pictures later. Come on.”

We started out at the Changdeokgung Royal Palace and toured the grounds of the place. It was very open and expansive. It reminded me of the “Forbidden City” in Beijing, except on a much smaller scale. Oh yeah, and it was cleaner, prettier, less crowded, and wasn’t filled with hordes of Chinese people hacking, spitting, blowing snot rockets, and having their children urinate and defecate in public. Soooo…. yeah, smaller, but better. Their weren’t very many tourists there, but the ones that were seemed to be a mix of Koreans, Korean school children, and a fair number of Japanese. This mix made for very orderly and civilized behavior. Japanese and Koreans seem very similar in this regard, and it makes being around crowds of Koreans just as pleasant as being around crowds of Japanese.

After finishing up at the royal palace we drove across town to the Seoul Tower, taking note of some monuments and markets on the way. There are several ways to get to Seoul Tower, including a cable car (slow) or even hiking (very slow). Cars are not allowed to drive to the top of the hill where the tower is located. The only vehicles allowed to the top are buses (electric ones that are there) or tour buses. Luckily, with our time constraints, we weren’t doing our usual thing of getting around sans tour guide, because our guide was able to just drive us to the top without any delay. Once inside, she cut out even further delay by getting us to skip much of the line, and then altogether skipping the “group photo” stop that everybody gets corralled through (like at the empire state building and places like that). Our guide didn’t mess around and just cut through the BS. Get to the top. Take some pictures. Oooh and Aaah at the view. Buy some jangle and magnets and postcards. Oh and don’t forget the bathroom. The “Sky Bathrooms” are pretty incredible. Rarely can one enjoy a view like this at a urinal. Before leaving we did do one other thing… At Seoul Tower there are thousands of locks locked onto the railing and piled one upon another. Most of the locks have messages written on them, professing love in many languages from visitors around the world. A symbolic gesture of love, very sweet and all. Of course Martha and I had to get a lock and make our contribution to the collection.

At that point it was almost lunch time. We headed over to Namdaemun market and walked a bit on our way to a Korean Barbecue restaurant, one that our guide said was her favorite. She had called the place maybe 10-15 minutes before we arrived, so all our side dishes were already prepared and laid out for us upon arrival. They also dispensed with us cooking the beef at our table and prepared it for us to be more efficient with time. We’ve had Korean barbecue before (in the United States, in DPRK) but this was at an entirely different level. The beef just fell apart off the bone and melted in your mouth. The sauce was incredible, savory sweet and just a little spicy. The side dishes were also on point: crisp spicy kim chi and daikon, delicious broth. It was a great meal to close out our very short time in South Korea. A little more shopping in the market and we were off to catch our shuttle back to the airport….

Our visit to South Korea was ever so short and almost precludes generalizing much of what we observed. A big part of the reason that a stopover of any duration was of interest to us was because of our recent visit to the DPRK. The trip to North Korea was sufficiently intriguing and mind boggling that it really piqued our interest in visiting the south. I wanted to know where they were similar, or different, and maybe get a sense of how their neighbors to the north are viewed collectively. In the north, they are still fighting a war that didn’t end in 1953, and to this day the dialogue revolves around the evil U.S. and Japanese governments and the puppet government in South Korea that inflicts untold abuses on the citizenry there. What does the south think of the north though? Well, from the small and very brief glimpses I got, they don’t think much. Weather reports, maps, lists don’t even mention the north. It’s a blank empty space. Like “The Others” beyond the wall (GRRM reference, sorry), they don’t even seem to be spoken of. When our guide mentioned “5 sacred mountains” in Korea, I asked (knowing the answer) if Mount Paekdu was one. Yes, two of the five are in the north, Mount Paekdu and Mount Myohyang. She mentioned this, but seemed skittish at the mention that they were in the north. No time to talk about what that meant though. I could see how the north is a subject best avoided in the south. It’s an ugly reality. The thing is, the national identity in South Korea doesn’t rely upon maintaining enemies to be feared. It’s an open and quite prosperous country in it’s own right. When we came through airport security, one of the workers took note of the DPRK flag patch on Martha’s backpack and chuckled and pointed at it. Martha said yeah, she had visited all the countries that had patches on there and he chuckled some more, and relayed that to a couple other workers, pointing at the DPRK patch. The other workers just chuckled as well, and we were on our way. Man, if you showed up in North Korea with a South Korean patch on your bag…. yikes. They’d likely do nothing, but they’d definitely not laugh either. It’s fair to say, I think, at a minimum, that the north and south view each other quite differently.

On another note, as to our underwhelmed first impressions….. I arrived with an image of Seoul being very comparable to Tokyo. While in many ways it is comparable (high-tech, crowded but with social order that values efficiency and order), Seoul is really quite different. I didn’t know what to make of it at first…. maybe I expected more glitz and lights. They’re there, just not quite at the sensory overload level you can get in Tokyo. And in between the glitzy areas, the ambience is much less hectic and even dimly lit. I think Seoul has an “old world” feel to it, more so than Tokyo at least. Not that that is a criticism of either, just a superficial observation. We really loved the town and the people, had a great time there, and definitely want to come back.

But you know, jumping to the other extreme was just as miserable. After checking in and making plans for tomorrow morning, we headed out into the blustery sub-zero streets to hunt down some dinner. The concerns for the rest of the evening shifted from potential heat stroke to potential frostbite.

But alas, we tracked down a place serving up traditional Korean fare and we all got a requisite bowl of Dolsot Bibimbap. It was alright. We’ve had worse, but we’ve definitely had better. Everything was very fresh, but the seasoning left a little to be desired.

Our first impressions of the city from strolling around Dongdaemun night market left us a little underwhelmed. Billed as kind of a youth culture sort of night market, it’s basically just endless stalls of counterfeit brand name clothing (gaudy, chintzy stuff) and accessories. Unfortunately, our stay here is ever so brief. We’ll see how our impressions change (or don’t) after touring some more tomorrow.

*Full Japan picture gallery below*

Regrettably, the Japan segment of this trip has nearly come to a close. We had a great time, but four days was just far too short. Honestly though, if it were four weeks, or even four months, we’d probably leave feeling like we needed more time here. It’s been a few years since our last visit here, and we’ve managed to visit a fair number of other places in the interim, but Japan, and specifically Tokyo, remains our favorite place. The “one bag” approach just doesn’t work here. You want to take the whole country back home with you.

We spent half the day in Akihabara, which turned out to be the group favorite I think. We also met our friend Ai and had a late lunch in Tsukishima, very close to where we’re staying in Monzen Nakacho. We wanted to have Okonomiyaki (kind of hard to describe, but has been called “Japanese pizza,” its a mix of batter and cabbage and pork and other bits grilled into a flat circle and topped with seaweed powder, fish flakes, and mayonnaise ) at least once during our visit, but Ai did even better and we went to a place that served both Okonomiyaki and a dish called Monja-yaki. Monja-yaki is basically the same idea, except with a thinner batter that makes the end product a lot more liquid. Also, they add cheese, which makes it a very different consistency. Very delicious though.

Tomorrow we head out pretty early for our flight to Seoul. Our bags are pretty full from Japanese acquisitions, so there should be little risk of a Helvetica Scenario from small bags such as these:

That’s right, they even call the bag “Helvetica.”

Two Helvetica bags?! Why not just get a bigger one?

Today we took a little day trip to Nikko, home of the “three monkeys” carvings (see no, speak no evil, etc). It was up a couple thousand feet in elevation so there were actually pockets of snow on the ground. I’m glad we packed heavy, because it was really, really cold. We did have a good time though. Otherwise pretty uneventful day.

Pics from Nikko:

Ashley said she would’ve preferred a “Puppy Cafe,” but we’re pretty sure she still had fun.

We had started out the day at 0430 to get to the Tsukiji fish market which was an interesting spectacle. A fair way to describe the experience of exploring the market is “stressful.” No matter where you’re standing or walking, you’re in the way. All manner of sea creatures are up for sale and things move at really hectic pace. Probably the most visually interesting are the tuna, people carving  up these frozen fish as big as livestock. One note on the Tsukiji market that surprised all of us was the complete lack of a “fishy” smell. Markets in Southeast Asia and Latin America can get a little foul at times, and don’t get me started on China….. but this market was just that clean I guess. It really takes work from everybody in a place that big to keep it from smelling awful. It’s probably also a testament to just how rapidly goods move through the place. I recommend a visit to the place during a stay in Tokyo for sure. This is my third time here and I hadn’t made it out before. After today I definitely feel like I missed out. And let’s not forget the sushi there, fresh from the market….. MY. GOD.

After checking out the temple at Asakusa (and of course the “Cat Cafe”), we made our way across town to Akihabara for a little electronics type shopping. Closed out the day in Harajuku at Martha’s favorite “cake bar” called “Sweets Paradise.” Had a pretty fun, albeit long and exhausting day.

So, after checking into Toyoko Inn in the fading daylight, we tried to run around a bit to see at least a few things.

On the agenda:

1: The Monzen-nakacho Kaiten sushi restaurant. Reaffirmed that yes, this is our favorite ever.

2: “Steve’s Takoyaki” Sorry, his stand was closed for the day =(

3: Shibuya (Hachiko, crosswalk, shopping, video arcades, people watching)

4: CoCo Curry. I stepped up the spice level to #7 after much goading by a certain chucklehead.

5: Mister Donut.

So yeah, 80% of the first order of business surrounded food. It’s been a few years since Martha and I have been here, and everything is just as endearing as we remember it. Our friend Ashley is traveling with us on this trip and she’s loving it too. She also travelled to China recently, and really, it doesn’t take long in Japan to appreciate how truly disgusting China is in it’s entirety.

Plan is for a really early day tomorrow….

The raccoons will point and laugh at your misfortune.

Itinerary:

Tokyo, Japan
Seoul, South Korea
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Jakarta & Yogyakarta, Indonesia

When we get to the airport and find our check-in counter, we get our first hints of the destination. There’s a small scattered group gathered in front of the desk. Like many places in China, there’s nothing really resembling a line, just a scattering of people moving back and forth, jockeying for position at the counter. Occasional arguments and yelling in Chinese, the usual queuing routine here. After briefly standing at the rear of the mess of suitcases and locals, planning our forward assault on the desk, a gentlemen emerged from another counter with “Can I help you? Where are you going?” …He had one of the tidy Kim Il Sung pins over his left chest. I’m pretty sure he thought we’d come to the wrong check-in counter.

“Pyongyang,” we replied.

“Right this way.” And with that, we were brought around and checked in by a couple more DPRK citizens. They’re all easily identified by the government issued pins of the “great leader” that are reverently worn every day over their heart. Their affect was a bit stiff and serious, but they lightened up and smiled a little after some polite pleasantries. One difference from much of the local service we’ve received in China… these guys really work hard. It’s clear that all of them take pride in their jobs and take their work (whatever it is) very seriously. Watching the Chinese group at the desk next to us, it was looking like our streak of no checked bags on this trip was going to end. The family was checking multiple little rollaboard suitcases that were all under the typical carry-on size. The guy at our desk asked if we had any bags to check and I reluctantly showed him my MEI bag and asked if I could carry it on. The whole DPRK group nodded “yes.” Perfect! Our record remains intact. With the gift bags and daypacks, we really were a bit more weighed down than usual, but it was still nice to keep control of all of our bags and avoid any unpleasant surprises or delays after the flight. So, we get to our gate after a quick security check, and wouldn’t you know, the duty free store there is selling Marlboros! For $15 U.S. per carton, so I guess I didn’t need to get them back in Vietnam. Oh well though, we’ve got all our gifts.

I had certain expectations regarding our flight ahead of time. Let’s just say, they weren’t high expectations. Koryo Air, the government run airline that primarily provides service from Beijing to Pyongyang, has the distinction of the being the world’s only “1 Star” rated airline. For safety, for service, the whole thing. They’ve never had any major incidents, but many descriptions online make it seem like a flying death trap. Old decaying Russian planes being used well outside their lifespan, with many safety checks being bypassed. I recalled roaming around the tarmac in Haiti after the earthquake, trying to hitch a ride on cargo planes. That’s what I had in mind before this trip. But this was nothing like that. Not at all. We got into a very new Russian passenger jet seating people six to a row. Everything was decorated in bright communist red, from the flight attendants to the seating. Instrumental revolutionary music played as we boarded. It reminded me, just a little, of Aeroflot, the Russian airline. I was probably a little tense already as the cabin doors closed and I further processed where we were going. In that tension, after takeoff, it was more than a little jarring to really feel the landing gears as they retracted and made loud grinding noises. Visions of malfunctioning landing gears forcing a water landing or a botched landing engulfing the plane in flames danced briefly in my head. Shake that off though. Look…. What’s that? Oh, automated LCD screens that fold down and play our safety instruction video. “Koryo airlines… founded with the principles of the great revolutionary Juche spirit!” It was the most entertaining instruction video ever, for sure. After the video, the flight attendants came through with politically appropriate reading material. On the carts they had some pamphlets with Kim Jong Il traveling to schools and different places, as well as a huge stack of “The Pyongyang Times,” a weekly English-language DPRK newspaper. We grabbed a copy of the Times and I read about how Kim Jong Il has visited and and watched a few shows and met with some foreign dignitaries. That was pretty boring, but they also had an article about a “breakthrough” spinal surgery they’re doing in DPRK. It was described like a laminectomy with fusion and hardware, but the way they told it, you’d think it could’ve cured Christopher Reeves. They also talked about how a DPRK Tae-Kwon-Do group toured in the USA and amazed audiences in multiple cities, starting with Boston and New York. Oh, and a very heated rebuttal of a South Korean white paper on DPRK human rights. The Times said that South Korea has turned into a “human rights hell on earth,” a pretty interesting statement from them. No mention of how human rights are trampled in South Korea though, of course. After all that engaging and informative reading, my eyes were starting to get a little heavy. I looked to my left, and Martha already had a positive “Q sign” and was totally out cold. I put away the Times, taking great care to not fold the front page picture with Kim Jong Il on it, and nodded off to sleep for a while. I woke up for the in flight meal, which included beef and rice, fried fish, and boiled chicken. That’s right “and.” Three meats served on a 90 minute flight. Interesting. As we started to make our descent, I pulled up the window shade to check out the countryside. Small mountains dotted the green landscape. It looked like Guilin in China. Really beautiful. The difference here is that it’s so untouched. Farmland with fields of rice and corn… small basic houses sprinkled on hillsides. Temple structures on top of some of the mountains. The roads looked well maintained and clean. Nothing too surprising though. I expected rural, and I expected clean. Oh yeah, and no smog. I expected that too. Maybe this cough I developed in China will clear up with the good country air. I sure hope so.

We disembarked from the plane down stairs onto the tarmac. I love it, it’s the presidential treatment. It connects you with the place you just arrived at, making your first impression the sky and ground and horizon and buildings instead of some sterile plastic accordion leading into an equally sterile airport. Once we were herded into the airport, we went through the motions of immigration and customs. The immigration part was very straightforward. They put a stamp on our visas, took a slip we filled out, and we were off. No checked bags for us, so skipping that, we moved on to customs. These guys were a bit more serious. The first guy yelled a bit and pointed to another slot to go to. I approached the guard at the next line and gave a timid smile and light nod. He held out his hand, made some kind of waving gesture and said, loudly and sternly, something that sounded like “Bye Bye.” Martha and I looked at each other. Martha cocked her head a little and cautiously said “Bye Bye?” Was he waving us through? We stood there for a second and he said it again more emphatically. Then he said it again. And then one more time. Oh, wait…. “MOBILE!” I quickly grabbed the iPhone from out of my pocket. Cool, ok. Our bags went through the scanner, and afterwards the guy wanted to dig through them completely. He had sniffed out any and all electronics that I had packed. Remarkably, he wasn’t at all interested in the Macbook Air (I’m typing this up right now in our hotel in Pyongyang on it). He checked out my main camera, and almost sneered at it. The old Olympus EP-2 has been through hell, and it shows. It’s been dropped more than a few times… on mountains. It’s been rained on… extensively. The paint is worn off of it. Damn I love that camera. He didn’t care about it or the extra lenses though. I could’ve had infrared telescopes for all he cared. He was fishing for “the other camera.” That’s right, we have a backup camera. A very small Casio Exilim (smaller than an iPhone). I helped him find that and he was satisfied. “Any GPS?” That’s what he was really looking for. Nope, only on that iPhone you got. We got a receipt for the iPhone, and we should get it back when we leave the DPRK.

After clearing customs, we headed out to another area where a crowd was gathered by the door to the parking lot. There was a moment there where we just stood in the crowd. Martha and I looked at each other, and then looked around, and saw no one with a sign with our name. No one looking at us with any interest. “Are we free agents in North Korea right now?” I asked. Just then, a tall, sharply dressed Korean man approached and said “Mr. Seneca?” …”Yes.” Ah, that’s right, they have our pictures, of course. We don’t need to find them. They’ll find us.

We were introduced to our guides, the tall, neatly dressed middle aged gentleman, and a Korean woman in her mid twenties. I won’t be using any real names in this blog entry, so I’ll go ahead and start with some pseudonyms. Our sharp dressed male guide is named “Harold” and our younger female guide is named “Shirley.” We piled in a large van, along with our driver of course, and headed off. Harold sat up front and Shirley sat in the second row and chatted with us during the drive. Small talk about her country, about our country, and about many of the sites and monuments we were passing on the drive from the airport to our hotel. The ride started out in a fairly rural area, as the airport is about a 25 minute drive from the center of Pyongyang. The road was pockmarked with occasional potholes, but certainly no worse than the northeastern United States. Nice sidewalks on both sides. Clean, well constructed, albeit drab, housing complexes. Spartan, Soviet-style construction, with pretty little flower planters on most of the balconies. For the outskirts, the suburbs, if you will, it was kind of bustling. Lots of pedestrian and bicycle traffic, everyone really moving with a purpose. The manner of dress is very simple. None of the gaudiness you see in China with bright pastels and reflective fabrics. Simple, solid colors in muted, neutral tones. The men wearing brown or gray copies of Kim Jong Il’s trademark suits, and the women wearing simple dresses or work clothes. And everyone, I mean everyone, of course, proudly wearing the pin with Kim Il Sung. As the drive went on, I think I may have spaced out a bit. After a minute or two, I kind of came back to reality and looked around, remembering where I was and thought to myself “Wait a minute, how the hell did all these cars get here?” I’ve read many, many trip reports, and they all talk about what a ghost town Pyongyang is. Big avenues with multiple lanes and no cars driving on them. But this was kind of busy. Not like Mexico City or New Delhi busy, but at least like Jacksonville, Florida busy. Lots of cars in a steady stream. Lots of older cheap looking asian models I’ve never seen before. A few military looking jeeps and such. But then, here and there, a sprinkling of really, really nice cars. Was that a brand new VW Touareg that just passed? Hmmm… And then, I see a gorgeous black Audi A8 cruise by. A $100k vehicle here? How the hell did it get here, and more importantly, who the hell is driving it? Shirley told us that there are councils that assign people to houses. People don’t buy houses, they’re assigned to them by the government. They can ask to change houses if they have a reason (like more kids), but it has to go through a local council. Staying somewhat on topic, we asked about the cars. Are there car dealerships? Nope, all the cars are owned by the government. How do you get a car? She replied that Koreans prefer public transit, but that if you have a need for a car you can request one. You’re also awarded a car if you win a gold medal in the olympics. Hmmm…. interesting. Then…. I went for it, I had to know.

“So who do you think is driving cars like that Audi?” I asked carefully.

“Oh, probably someone that works for the government.”

Remarkably honest, but I don’t think she sees that quite the same way I do. It makes sense though.

We got to our hotel, the Yanggakdo Hotel, which is on an island in the center of Pyongyang. It’s 47 stories tall, built in 1995, and is considered the finest in the DPRK. I also had low expectations for this hotel. Walking inside though, I was taken aback. The revolving doors were just like the ones at the Grand Mercure in Beijing, with floral displays inside the flange. The lobby opens up with the ceiling five stories above you and these massive, matching chandeliers. To the right are huge aquariums with little sharks and even a sea turtle! There are multiple shops, selling a much greater variety of goods than I expected. There’s a bookstore with all the party line texts and pamphlets, as well as pins, flags, and hand painted posters. Another shop sold traditional Korean dresses and a variety of handicrafts. One of the items up for sale are the metal chopsticks that Korea is known for. They only had sets of gold ones though, and we’re hoping to find some silver ones. We’ll see. What else….. Cigarettes, lots of North Korean brands. I’ll have to bring back a carton for our smoker friends =) They also had a general store and a pharmacy. Both were well stocked, maybe a little too well stocked. The pharmacy had several bottles of IV Mannitol for sale for about $2 each. Why in the hell would anyone need Mannitol? That was a little baffling.

So, checked in and having toured the place, we also reviewed the itinerary for the week with our guides. Everything looks good on that front, no issues. Our hotel room is more than adequate, comfy beds and a clean bathroom. Plenty of space, no complaints here. We had dinner around eight, which was a really formal affair. It was a full five course meal with appetizers, salads, chicken soup, a fish course, and a beef course. It was all really, really good. No B.S., everything was fresh, simple in appearance, and complex in flavor. We both loved it. Even the beer was crisp and aromatic and refreshing. Maybe we were just thirsty and hungry and tired, but we both really enjoyed the dinner. One thing to note in particular was the Kimchi here. I like Kimchi. Like it. But the Kimchi here, I love it. Adore it. Savor it. Everything the salty chemically poisoned stuff I’ve had before wishes it could be and never is. It’s that complex spicy flavor with a light seafood undertone. It was perfection. These people know how to make it for sure. So yeah, dinner was a nice affair in a classy setting, with a backdrop of DPRK television…… singing, Kim Jong Il, dancing and instrumental music, more Kim Jong Il, that sort of thing. As it stands right now, I really like this place. It’s like stepping into the Twilight Zone. It’s so completely weird, so completely different from anywhere I’ve been. At the same time though, it’s clean, it’s organized, and the people are kind and polite.

Day 2:

Good nights sleep, and I was awakened early by Martha, who was already almost ready and really excited to start the day. In that brief post-awakening haze, I had to reprocess where we were. A glance out the window from our 30th floor hotel room quickly brought me into reality. The Taedong River winds past to give a prominent view of The Juche Tower and May Day Stadium. We needed to meet Harold and Shirley in the lobby at 0800, and we made it downstairs to the restaurant by 0730. The restaurant is buffet style, and serves a mix of western and Korean dishes: toast, sweet rolls, eggs, omelets, fried potatoes…. and then cucumber and beef, clear noodles, pickled carrots and cucumbers, spiced beef and pork and chicken and fish, Kimchi, etc. Morning coffee, instant of course.

We met Harold and Shirley and headed out with our driver. Our first stop was the Mansudae Art Theatre, mostly to get a look at the fountain and statues outside. Today covered many of the requisite DPRK propaganda spots…. monuments and statues and buildings that convey the message of the ruling party. Well, really everything in DPRK conveys that message, but these first sites are the ones they’d take a visitor to if they only had one day here. To me, my sense ahead of time was that today would be a necessary chore to get to some of the sites of greater personal interest later in the trip. So, this first site (fountain with statues) was pretty and I grabbed a few pictures of it. Martha chatted with Harold and I had a few minutes to pace around and fret over how to photograph it. Then, it was time to move on. At every point on this trip, there have been forces working to sabotage good travel photography. In most of the countries, it was simply an issue of crowds. In Vietnam, there are also legitimate concerns of theft that warrant a little more caution with street photography. In China, in addition to the normal crowds, you also have rude and oblivious locals wandering right in front of your camera. In the DPRK though, you don’t have to worry about any of those things. It isn’t crowded, not anywhere. Not crowded with people, and not crowded with cars. Theft is a non-issue. Tourists are mostly kept separated, so no matter how much Chinese people love walking in front of other people’s cameras, they really can’t do it here. No, photography should be pretty easy here, but it’s not. Not for me. The limiting factor here is time. The itineraries that are dictated are always hurried. It gives you only a few minutes to get your ass in gear and get your photographs. Then, it’s off to the next site. We quickly saw how this was gonna go after the first fountain, so Martha and I agreed on a photography prioritization schema. 1: Photo of us with appropriate monument backdrop 2: HDR shot of major scene/monument, and 3: Snaps of smaller details of interest.

Our next stop was a big one: The Kumsusan Memorial Palace. It’s the Mausoleum for the founder of the DPRK, President Kim Il Sung. If you’re not familiar with the leadership structure in DPRK, it’s actually a little bit interesting. Kim Il Sung died in 1994, somewhat unexpectedly, but of natural causes. During the national mourning that followed, changes were made in the constitution to declare him the eternal president of DPR Korea. So, even though he’s been dead for nearly twenty years, he’s still referred to as the president. Kim Jong Il, his son, is referred to as “General” or as “Dear Leader.” We were heading to the palace where Kim Il Sung resided before he died and where his body is kept now. When we arrived, there was a brief period in a waiting area before being brought outside and lined up in formation, in little rows of four. We were outside in a parking lot, and to our right was a covered area where trains could arrive. Just then, a train pulls up carrying hundreds of female military personnel. As soon as the train stopped, they all piled out of the train cars and got into formation, stiff posture, eyes forward. A military officer walked up and down the rows of soldiers, inspecting them up and down carefully. His face was stern, and he’d yell every few steps. He kind of seemed like at any moment he might just randomly punch one of the female soldiers in the face, you know, just to make sure everyone knew who was in charge. I wouldn’t say the display was scary per se, but it did have my full attention. As our formation started to move, we started passing more DPRK soldiers… many, many hundreds of them. Shirley told us that the mausoleum is visited regularly by soldiers from all around the country. We saw soldiers from several branches: female and male infantry with simple green fatigue uniforms and hats with a red star, female non-combatants with green fatigue skirt, blouse, and beret, air force with different shaped hats and emblems with wings around the star, and navy in all white uniforms. The numbers just at this one site were pretty overwhelming. All of them with expressions as hard as stone… you really don’t want to screw with these guys. They’re fully invested. They didn’t join the military just to get a couple years of college paid for.

As we came to the end of a covered walkway and went indoors for the first time, we walked over very fancy machinery that had automated scrubbing and washing of the bottom of your shoes. At the end of the shoe washing steps, there were dry mats before entering in the next room. Here, we merged into a single file line that moved a little slower. Eventually we came to a part of the hallway where black glass was on our sides through a narrow walkway. We were in there for a little while. The line moved forward just a little, and I stood talking to Harold momentarily there. Then Harold said, “come on out of there, you don’t want to be in there long.” Ahh, X-rays. Full body X-rays. Great. I guess I can blame the DPRK later on if I have to have my thyroid taken out. Maybe I can get it done for free in their socialized medicine setup. So, now glowing a bit from the radiation, we moved to another security checkpoint. Here, we surrendered all belongings: bags, cameras, everything but my wallet. Then we moved on to the next checkpoint: full body metal detectors, then metal detectors with a wand, and finally, a thorough pat down. Man, that’s almost as bad as a U.S. airport! Next up: a really, really long motorized walkway. Like one kilometer. Harold and Shirley told us all the party line talking points on the place: Kim Il Sung would stroll through the orchard there and think deeply about matters of state. A tradition still stands to distribute the grapes from the orchard there to the kindergarteners in Pyongyang. The square outside the building has measurements significant to the leaders birthday. They love that kind of symbolism here. The Palace was Kim Il Sung’s residence before he died, and after he died they covered over all of the windows except one. This window faces the Revolutionary Martyrs Cemetery. It is said that Kim Il Sung would sit on the top floor of the place and stare out this one window with binoculars and view the cemetery off in the distance. Or some such story. I suppose we have plenty of the same drivel about the “founding fathers” in the U.S. The real difference in the U.S. though is it’s perfectly ok to be completely irreverent and make fun of our leaders. It’s really kind of a national past time. Here though, umm, that’s maybe not the best idea. In fact, it would be a terrible idea to make fun of the Kims here.

Once inside the main building, our first main sight was a huge white stone statue of Kim Il Sung at the rear of an equally huge room. Pastel lighting and revolutionary instrumental music sets the tone in the room as we approached the statue in rows of four. Once you come to the foot of the statue, you’re to stand and gaze upon it without moving. No bowing, no saluting…. just pause and look at the statue. We were prepped on the etiquette ahead of time. After the statue room, they take you into another room where audio guides are handed out. The narrator had a nice British accent and talked about how the unexpected death of Kim Il Sung sent all of Korea, in fact all of the world, into deep mourning. He said that people from all over Korea, wracked with grief, came to the spot we were standing to mourn. They shed so many tears that their tears hardened on the very floors we were standing and turned into sparkling jewels. You know, I guess the floor was a little sparkly. At least, now that the narrator mentioned it. Anyway, after the sentimental bit with the narrator and passing some bronze statues of Korean people wailing and pleading to the sky to return their beloved leader, we returned our audio guides and hopped in the elevator. We were now headed to the actual mausoleum. After exiting the elevator and crossing another large room, we were all corralled through little slots that rapidly blew air all over us. Think, like, one of those restroom air dryers for your hands, except for your whole body. A short wind tunnel. Now, with any pesky loose hair or lint removed, we were ready to behold the great leader. There was a group of Swedish guys in front of us, and they were acting like total chuckleheads at this point, giggling and poking at each other. Keep some distance from those guys. Maybe Swedish people are allowed to joke at the DPRK president’s mausoleum, but I’m pretty sure Americans aren’t allowed to. Well, and even if we were, it’s kind of a dick move at anybody’s mausoleum. We’ll be on our best behavior, hopefully contrasting a little with the American caricatures with beak noses, long finger nails, and beady little eyes. Besides looking unappealing, another reason to NOT be one of those caricatures is because they’re usually depicted with a soldier’s bayonet being rammed through their chest. So, we’ll stick to overly polite and well behaved. We’re even wearing DPRK flag pins on our left chest while here. That’s a move that seems to be absolutely loved by locals, especially when they know we’re American. A small gesture that’s a real olive branch and conversation starter. Anyway, here we are at the “great” leader’s mausoleum behind some Swedish chuckleheads. We walk through a large dimly lit room, moving in a  circle around the coffin. Kim Il Sung looks just as pictured, and is well preserved, not much else to say there. We bow at the feet and on each side (not at the head) as instructed, and then we’re out. Earlier, we had discussed some of our prior travels, and Harold was very interested in how this mausoleum compared with Lenin and Mao. I told him (completely truthfully) that this site was far more impressive and reverent. Lenin’s mausoleum, while certainly reverent and nicely presented, is small and simple, and there is a glitzy shopping mall right across the square, the irony of which is hard to ignore. Mao’s mausoleum is chaos, crowded with loud-talking, line-cutting Chinese. I’m pretty sure Harold was quite pleased to hear this. Look, I can B.S. with the best of them, but I also have no problem giving credit where credit is due. I know it plays right into the whole mythology here, but the fact is, the shrine they’ve built here for their founder is pretty incredible. I bet it even rivals the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs in their time. No photos of course on the inside of the place, but we grabbed a couple on the outside, even though it had started to rain. After that, we headed out to the next site.

Next up was the Revolutionary Martyrs’ Cemetery. The Cemetery is located on a very scenic hill overlooking Pyongyang. The people buried there are very significant to the DPRK version of history. That is, it’s not for anonymous soldiers. It’s for people with stories. All related to the fight against Japanese colonization and the “U.S. Imperialists.” Every grave site has a bronze bust of the person and some data related to their contribution. Many of the graves are high-ranking military officers, but they have a few notable exceptions. One is a woman who lost all her sons in the fight against the Japanese. They have her buried next to one of her sons. At the top of the hill, Kim Jong Suk, the mother of Kim Jong Il, is buried. She’s venerated as kind of the “mother of the revolution” in the DPRK, so she has a prominent place in the cemetery. We laid bouquets of flowers at the bottom and top of the hill (it’s kind of mandatory on a visit). After that, some nice views looking down towards Pyongyang.

Our last stop before lunch was a tour of the USS Pueblo. This was a U.S. “spy ship” that was captured by the DPRK in North Korean waters. It sounds like it was quite an incident at the time. The North Koreans had the personnel from the ship held in custody and the initial U.S. reaction was that they’d captured a U.S. fishing vessel. Eventually though, the U.S. issued an apology for entering DPRK waters and promised to not do it again in order to have the soldiers from the ship returned. North Korea kept the ship as a trophy and gives tours of it. It seems to be something they’re quite proud of. They have it next to a monument commemorating the sinking of the “General Sherman,” another U.S. ship, from the 1800s.

Lunch on our first full day here was in the revolving restaurant on the 47th floor of the Yanggakdo Hotel. Korean barbecue on a hot stone. Pretty good. Oh, and it seems a liter of beer accompanies every meal here. Well, at least it’s good beer. Even Martha likes it. Before the meal they do ask you if you’d “like some beer.” One time we asked if we could get something else…. soda, juice, tonic, whatever. “No, just beer.” Ok, hmmm…. I guess I’ll take a beer then. In the DPRK, it seems that beer is actually part of the “essential” food items that are provided by the government (I’m not joking). Citizens get vouchers for rice, chicken, general groceries….. and beer. It’s good beer though, no complaints other than the fact that we end up going through 2 liters of it every day =)

In the afternoon, we went for a walk in Moranbong Park. It’s basically just a nice green space in the city that leads to a scenic hill. There’s an old building at the top, built in the traditional Korean style. We were surprised to see a vendor at the top selling drinks and candies and toys. They weren’t there for us, at least not solely, as they deal in DPRK Won, a currency not allowed to be used by foreigners. That got Martha and I talking with Harold and Shirley a bit about financial transactions in the DPRK. First I asked about banks: Do they have them? How does that work here? Shirley was quick to tell me that they have savings accounts and that it’s the same as the U.S. Well, it seems Harold has spent some time overseas in Germany (before the Eastern Bloc collapse) and he knows a thing or two about this. He started arguing with her in Korean (for a while) and then finally switched back to English with: “No Michael, they’re completely different here.” Basically, they get housing, essential food, education, and healthcare provided. They have a job, one dictated by the government, and they get paid for that job. Not that much though, because remember that they have essentials provided, or at least they’re supposed to. They get paid the spending money in cash, and they can use that as they like, albeit in very limited shops. They have savings accounts, but they don’t use banks for like writing checks or borrowing money or anything like that. In fact, individuals can’t borrow money at all, only businesses to cover short term transactions. No credit cards or anything like that in the DPRK. No ATMs either. We also talked about American politics a bit. Our guides seemed like pretty smart people, so I tried to take every tactful opportunity to tell stories that might kind of hold a mirror up to them. That is, if they’re paying attention, and they certainly seemed to be. An example was the sort of stifling of dissent that seemed to happen in the early years of Bush Jr’s presidency. Anyone opposed to Bush or his policies at that time was “Un-American.” So, you know, blah blah blah about how terrible that was that you couldn’t have an open critical discussion about the leaders without being attacked. That’s a bad thing right? It doesn’t have to be said that I know damn good and well that no one here would dare utter a single critical word against the Kims. But we can talk about it just fine if it’s in the context of other countries. So that’s the kind of stuff I went with when conversation steered in that direction. Never a negative statement about the DPRK, but just discuss issues in the U.S. in a way that might reveal just how open of a system we live in. We can criticize our leaders. We can and we do. We can even like our leaders and still disagree with certain policies. That sort of thing. We talked about some current issues: healthcare reform, the housing crisis, financial collapse, etc. There were a lot of U.S. and world issues that Harold didn’t seem very familiar with, but on a few things he really surprised me. When I mentioned some of the modern American news outlets he said: “Fox News: Fair and Balanced.” So the North Koreans get to see clips from Fox News huh? Read into that however you like. Whenever I steered things towards issues in the DPRK though, I tried to do so carefully, especially this early in the trip. We seemed to be off to a good start.

After walking through the park a bit, we headed over to “Mangyongdae Native House.” This is the house where president Kim Il Sung grew up, and it’s a highly revered place of national importance. We heard a story at our briefing about a foreigner who, without thinking, rested his foot briefly on a ledge there to take a picture. One of the guards observed this and thought it was disrespectful, and made quite an ordeal out of it. Apparently it took a number of hours to calm that situation down, and lots of paperwork and reports were filed regarding it. I knew this ahead of time, so I was definitely not gonna be “that guy.” When we got there though, the place was really not very interesting. It’s a couple small structures with straw roofs. It’s been so heavily painted and cleaned that it looks like a fake exhibit where they might show “how native people lived” at some cheap museum. It had tarps by all the steps, ugly blue ones. One look at the place, and I was immediately not interested in taking any photos. If this place is so sacred, don’t you worry, I won’t sully it up through the lens of my imperialist camera. There was a guard at the place giving us the stink eye, so I stayed very well clear of any steps or anything. Then, when starting to leave, our guides insisted “take a photo here.” Ok, if you insist. Meh. The place is depicted quite beautifully throughout the country in tile mosaics, paintings, and stitch work, so it’s definitely important to DPRK citizens. Not important to me though.

Ok next: The Juche Tower. The what tower? Well, Juche, specifically “The Juche Idea” is what underlies the principles of the ruling party in the DPRK. The short version is that Juche = self reliance, that man is the master of his destiny. Juche, like other communist systems, is an Atheist system. It seems though, that with the masses there is a still a need for some kind of worship, and in this case it’s hero worship instead of spiritual worship. Just like Lenin, and Ho Chi Minh, and Mao, the Kim’s in the DPRK are godlike figures, responsible for all that is good in the world, and fighting against all that is evil. The Juche Tower is a monument built to celebrate this “idea.” It was completed in 1982 to commemorate the 70th birthday of Kim Il Sung. It’s 170 meters tall and has one block for every day of Kim Il Sung’s life. *single tear* It was designed after the Washington Monument, but they made it just a little bit taller (by less than a meter). You can ride an elevator to the top (which we did) and you get great panoramic views of Pyongyang. The monument sits right across the Taedong River from Kim Il Sung square, so it’s a really scenic spot. Martha got to chatting with the local guide at the tower, mostly just small talk though. A nice lady, but maybe just a little bit like a “Stepford Wife.” Like, a little too cheerful and glowing for no good reason. Wait, no good reason? I mean, she gets to talk about the Juche idea all day. Ok, I guess that’s a good reason. I did notice that she had a very nice pair of rimless eyeglass frames and a high prescription with the very thin glass. A pair of glasses that would set you back $500 for sure. I think she’s doing ok, all things considered.

Our last stop for the day was the Party foundation monument. The symbol of the Workers’ Party in North Korea has three elements: a hammer, a sickle, and a brush. Normally, you think of the communist symbolism using just the first two, for the factory worker and the farmer. In the DPRK, they added a third, the brush, to recognize the artist and the intellectual. I gotta say, that seems a hell of a lot smarter than regimes in other countries that have made a policy of eliminating intellectuals as a class (ie: Cambodia). Don’t kill off the intellectuals…. just “reeducate” them a little and bring them into the fold. You’ve gotta have somebody to keep the workers and farmers in line right? I mean, there has to be somebody in the DPRK making all the rules. Oh wait… right, that’s the military. So maybe they should’ve added a fourth symbol to the monument, like a big rifle. Too late now I suppose.

For dinner we had Korean hot pot. A change for dinner on this night was that we actually ate with our guides and driver. Normally, they kind of drop us off at a place and leave us, having their dinner separately. We were told ahead of time that their dinner is more “authentic Korean” and that they westernize our meals a bit. That may be true, but we’ve begun to get the impression that maybe their meals are also a bit smaller and less showy. In any event, tonight we ate together. The choices for the hot pot were either pork or fish. Everybody except me went with the pork, and I went with fish. Shirley said “Fish?” with a little surprise when I said it. Maybe that should’ve been a warning. It wasn’t very good. Just a heads up for anyone, go with the flow in DPRK. Special requests (as in, anything remotely varying from the crowd) are usually not the best option.

Day 3:

Another night at the Yanggakdo. Some of polished veneer has begun to wear off a bit. They have several restaurants on the ground floor of the place (at least five different ones) and we’ve started to cycle through them. They each have a sign out front that says “Korean” or “Chinese” or some other name like “Rainbow” (with a Japanese theme). The thing is, they all serve us the same dishes. Cucumber with beef, chicken soup, fried fish, and then some other grilled meat. Oh, and at the end, a large bowl of white rice. Who knows why it’s at the end. We’ve decided that they’re really not taking us to new restaurants, just new dining rooms. Thinking of it that way is easier. We really loved the food the first couple times, but they really need to change things up, geez. Oh, and one other slightly troubling observation at the hotel: We’re pretty sure we’re being monitored. Actually, we’re almost certain. We noticed from check-in that the room next to us had the door ajar all the time. One time, I went up to our room by myself in the middle of the day to grab something we forgot, and the door was all the way open. Inside the room was a group of North Koreans, and they had the room set up like a high tech office. A large desk blocked the entrance into the room and there were several computers set up on the desk. Pictures of Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il hung on the wall. As I walked by the open door, one man came and shut it abruptly. Hmmm. Then, last night as we were returning for the evening, we observed that every other room, for several rooms, had setups like this. We came to the DPRK to observe their bizarre practices and beliefs, but it looks like the tradeoff is that we’ll be observed as well. So, we just kept that in mind in our hotel room. It doesn’t mean we didn’t say critical things, just that certain lines were not crossed. No bad talking the Kim’s, and no talk, even hypothetical, of people revolting against the current powers there.

We started off the day with a ride on the Pyongyang Metro. I was a little surprised as we entered the first station at how busy the place was. It was rush hour on a week day, and the place was pretty crowded with people on their morning commute. The station tunneled deep underground and was devoid of any advertisements whatsoever (just like the rest of DPRK). All the stations have names like “Victory” and “Paradise” and “Revolution.” They all have elaborate tile mosaics depicting scenes related to the theme of the station. Of course, they all also contain many elements aimed to glorify the Kims. There are statues and pictures of them at all the stations and on all the trains. At one of the last stops, we encountered our first “American” visiting the DPRK. One of the other guides asked where we were from and when Martha told him, he said “Oh, then you must know Mike.” Well, Mike was an older unaccompanied man at the station who just so happened to already be videotaping us. He was wearing a “Hilton” polo shirt. Martha already insisted we must have made it onto some U.S. government watch list by going to North Korea in the first place. Now, this gray haired man with an ex-military air about him, videotaping us from a distance without interacting had us wondering “Are we being monitored by Americans too?” Paranoid, I know. You kind of get that way in the DPRK. We never saw “Hilton Mike” again for the rest of our trip, and when we described him to a couple of other tourists we encountered, nobody knew him. Weird. Well, it was fun and interesting to ride the subway and explore the stations. We went through five stops. Everything was immaculate, and everyone behaved in a very polite and orderly manner. Whenever we noticed local people really staring at us, we’d give them a smile and a wave. Usually, they all erupted in smiles as well and some would say “hello,” maybe some of the only English many of them know. The reactions from locals in these encounters seemed to transition from shock to suspicion to surprise to friendliness. The DPRK flag pins we wore may have really helped with interactions with locals. Their eyes would shift to the flag pins immediately, and it seemed to send the right message. The message that we are friendly and intend to be respectful of their country and their culture. Respect is a big thing in DPRK. Saving face. It’s really similar to Japan in that way.

After we got off at our last stop, we exited the station to visit “The Arch of Triumph.” This is a memorial for the victorious return of Kim Il Sung to his homeland of Korea after the defeat of the Japanese. Well, that’s the DPRK version of it, at least. That’s the only version that matters when you’re in the DPRK though. We grabbed a few shots at this monument and moved on to the next stop.

Next up was a visit to the “finest hospital in the DPRK,” called “Pyongyang Maternity Hospital.” It’s a hospital that only cares for women, although it does care for all manner of illness and injury, not just obstetrical issues. Basically, women patients throughout the lifespan. The tour seemed very staged, with each area we visited already busily in the middle of some respective procedure. Also, the place was completely immaculate. I can’t knock that though, it’s no different from when JCAHO makes an announced visit to an American hospital. Everything is magically perfect. All the halls are cleared, that sort of thing. They took us to mammography and radiology (they have one X-Ray setup, and not a CT scanner), and they described the machines as though they were state of the art. What would you expect though? The truly state of the art machines these days require people with very specialized training to even run them, probably an unrealistic expectation in the DPRK. We feigned amazement though. Remember, respect. Next up was a “visitation room,” which was a very interesting concept. It seems that they’re concerned enough about post-delivery infections that women are not allowed to have any outside visitors for seven days after delivering. When people visit during this time, they interact with the patient through a closed circuit video phone setup. Think, prisoners in America. I think their heart is in the right place with this, it’s just maybe a bit of an extreme approach for that goal. We just put up hand washing signs and antiseptic dispensers. In the DPRK though, you’re not limited by concerns like freedom. People do what they’re told, so a policy like this is no problem. Who knows, maybe it’s a nice break for the patients to not be bothered for a week because of “doctor’s orders.” Another part of the post-delivery routine in DPRK is immediate dental care. With calcium loss throughout pregnancy and potential for dental issues after delivery, this is maybe a nice setup. Completely government run healthcare, they can skip the bureaucracy and implement it however they like I guess. For better or worse. It was a little odd to have them describe the dental care though and say “our leader Kim Jong Il noticed a problem with dental loss after delivery and instructed us to implement this system.” This would really prove to be a recurring theme on the trip. The Kims are everything: they are engineers, doctors, farmers, scientists, poets, artists, politicians, military strategists, culinary experts, history experts, archaeologists…. you name the profession, and they can guide the work to make things better. Like I said, they are truly god figures in the DPRK, responsible for all that is good and fighting hard against all that is bad. At the hospital they have copies of a short note from Kim Jong Il from a 1993 visit where he basically said “keep up the good work.” They have that note enlarged and framed all over the hospital. Everywhere. That note next to the solemn pictures of Kim Jong Il and Kim Il Sung in every hallway and treatment area is just a little creepy. The rest of the tour included the laboratory areas (small and basic), some specialized treatment areas with acupuncture and heat lamps and UV lamps, and finally, the neonatal area. In the neonatal unit, there was a special area where triplets and quadruplets are cared for. These babies are required to achieve a 5 kg weight before discharge from the hospital, which means they get to spend a little time there. In the rare instance of quadruplets (remember, no fertility treatments in DPRK), the parents get special gifts from the governnment. The mother gets a gold ring and the father gets a gold knife, you know, for “doing a good job.” Kind of funny. I’m sure the symbolism in the gifts is intentional. That was pretty much it on the hospital tour, we saw some patient rooms and toured around a bit. Like I said, the routine definitely felt staged, but regardless it was a clean hospital with caring people who seem to be doing the best job they can with limited means under very restrictive conditions.

After the hospital tour, we checked out a bookstore and took a walk to Kim Il Sung square. This is the large square in Pyongyang where big military parades are held. It’s no Red Square or Zocalo, but it’s clean and empty. One of the government buildings had portraits of Marx and Lenin prominently displayed outside, which we found interesting. There actually are outsiders that are permitted to be held in high esteem, just not many of them. After a few minutes for pictures in the square, we walked to the “Fatherland Liberation War Museum.” The “Fatherland Liberation War” is the name of the “Korean War” in the DPRK, so that was the topic at hand in this museum. As you might imagine, their version of the Korean War is a little different from the version we learn in America. Actually, it’s a little different from any objective and referenced version that you might read anywhere. Ok, actually, it’s completely and totally different. The short version is that after the defeat of the Japanese in World War II, the Americans invaded Korea and quickly started oppressing, killing, and exploiting the Korean people. America went into a depression after World War II (interesting), so in order to maintain war profits we needed to start another war. We made preparations and secretly invaded North Korea. The only reason it looks like the North Koreans started it (because they so quickly pushed south) is because of their superior military power and strategy. The part in the latter half of 1951, when the U.S./U.N. forces pushed the KPA all the way across the Yalu river into China, was kind of glazed over. They also pretty much skipped over 1951-1953, where the war was largely fought by Chinese troops in what amounted to a stalemate. Basically, Kim Il Sung was the most amazing fighter and military strategist to have ever lived, and the U.S. was a bunch of cowards and war criminals. There was a “group tour” that visited the museum along with us. It consisted of a German lady, a Swedish man, and a Nepalese lady. None of them knew each other before the trip, they just booked the same “group” tour. Their junior guide was a timid young lady that possibly didn’t speak English very well. If I haven’t made this clear, every “group” (can be a group of one) has two North Korean guides (a senior and junior). At each major site visited, there is also typically at least one “local” guide. For example, at this museum we had a young lady with a pretty decent command of English showing us the museum and giving us the talk. Of course, she had all of the talking points down perfect. Remember of course, this lady is in her twenties, removed by the Korean War by generations. She’s only repeating to us what she’s been told to say. When we first got to the museum, they sat the five us down for a video about the evil American imperialists and the brave and victorious Korean Peoples’ Army. During the video, we start to the hear the German lady huffing and chuffing and shifting in her seat. I shift a glance her way and make eye contact briefly and she says (pretty loudly) “can you believe this garbage?! I mean, as Americans, how can you stand this???” You know, at a different place, at a different time, this is a discussion we could have. A lively, comedic discussion. I could scoff at this garbage with the best of them. The thing is, we’re in North Korea right now. This is their version of history, and one person’s outrage doesn’t undo decades of programming and filtering of information. We gave the lady a shrug and disengaged from her as much as possible. She’s right, we are Americans. In North Korea. All the more reason to measure our words and behavior. As the tour of the museum went on, German lady would challenge our local guide repeatedly and sarcastically. It was a bit uncomfortable. We did want to have one bit of interaction with the German lady though.

“How did you know we’re Americans?”

We hadn’t said a word out loud at the museum when she’d asked us our opinion as Americans, so we were curious. She replied that it was our accent, that she’d overheard us at the restaurant at lunch. Apparently the American accent is a process of elimination. You hear it, and you know: not British, not Australian, not South African, must be American. We ended the tour like we came to end it with every local guide, with polite thanks, pleasantries, and a small gift to the guide, in this case a pouch of assorted western candies and chocolate.

That night we were taken to a new restaurant across town that had a “department store” on the bottom floor. Even though the restaurant was miles away from the Yanggakdo hotel, it had the same furniture and we started out with the same spread of appetizers and small dishes. The main course was different though. I got Dolsot Bibimbap (a beef/egg/rice dish that Martha and I love) and Martha got Pyongyang cold noodles, a local specialty. The cold noodles were delicious and unique. As far as the Bibimbap…. well… it wasn’t the best and it wasn’t the worst. Martha has made it better at home, and I’ve definitely had it better at restaurants in the U.S. There was no love in this Bibimbap…… but there wasn’t hate either. It was made with care for sure. Rather, this was a Bibimbap filled with anguish, and the suffering of a nation. It was still delicious though.

After dinner, we checked out the “Department Store” downstairs. It was a very small store that had a basic selection of a variety of goods ranging from clothing to groceries. Think, Super Wal-Mart, except in the size of a convenience store. We did find one item at this store that we were specifically after: our metal chopsticks! They had some top quality stainless steel chopsticks for about $8 a pair. They were stamped the same way we’d seen them everywhere in the DPRK, so we were pretty happy to get them. We grabbed six pairs… who cares about lucky numbers right? That’s a bunch of superstitious Chinese garbage. Three pairs is just stupid, and eight pairs is too many. We’ll make our own luck with six pairs. Another interesting part of the transaction here, the cashier gave Martha a “free” bonus for buying a bunch of stuff. That might sound like no big deal, but it is. This is the DPRK, and stores like this are quite a new concept here. The government sets prices, so there is no haggling anywhere. It’s only been quite recently, and now only occasionally, that shopkeepers may throw in little “extras.” Little baby seeds of Capitalism just starting to take root. During the years that Kim Il Sung was alive (until 1994), the DPRK adhered to a very strict Stalinist variant of communism. Markets and retail stores didn’t exist. During the 1960s when there was a split between the Soviet Union and China because of Soviet reforms, the DPRK sided with China. Of course, after the death of Mao Zedong in 1976, even China began to make large economic reforms. The economic reforms in China began with small openings in the market, and here we are a few decades later and China looks like any other capitalist country (economically, at least). In the last decade in North Korea, some very small economic changes have also occurred. Certainly not on the scale that’s happened in China, but changes nonetheless. Maybe in a few decades, if chaos doesn’t break out on the Korean peninsula, the DPRK will start to look like China. From an economic standpoint, that is, I sure hope they don’t ever look like China in any other way.

After completing our little capitalist transactions, it was off to opening night of the Arirang Mass Games. This was, for us, the biggest draw to the DPRK on this trip. We went with “first-class” seats, and they proved to be a good choice. The “super-class” seats were only one row down and were double the price. The second and third class seats start to get away from the center of the field and have small seats without a tabletop like first class. May Day stadium was pretty packed when we arrived. All branches of the military were arriving by the truckload. School kids of all ages from around the country. DPRK tourists from around the country by the busload. It was a spectacle, but it was mostly pretty organized. As far as the show….. Wow. Unbelievable. All the bluff and bluster of the DPRK government aside, this really is an incredible show. There’s nothing else like it on earth. No really, they’re in the Guinness Book of World Records with this show, and they make sure you know it. The most performers, performing in the biggest stadium on earth. It’s a sight to behold. And the energy, my god. After the show as we were coming out, I was approached by an anchor and cameraman from DPRK state television. They interviewed me on video about my impression of the show, what I liked, how I thought it compared to performances elsewhere in the world. I’m sure I gave them exactly what they wanted to hear. Of course, I was being completely honest because the show was awesome and unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

I shot a lot of video at the Mass Games, and hopefully it gives at least a rough idea of what the show looks like. It doesn’t do it justice though, especially with my novice shaky jake attempts at recording it. Maybe I should stick to still photography =) In any event, check out the videos, they’re fairly long clips, skip around as you see fit. I did try to cut anything too shaky or with zooms and such. Before this trip, I recall there not being any really clear Mass Games clips on YouTube, so I wanted to make sure to record a lot of video to post something current on there. If this is something that interests you, I should also point out that next year is Kim Il Sung’s 100th birthday (dead or not), and it’s a really, really big deal in the DPRK. I imagine the Mass Games next fall will be even more incredible. Just to repeat how much we loved the show, we actually ended up seeing it twice on the trip to the DPRK. It was amazing both times.

Here are some clips from opening night. It’s a 90 minute show in total. I shot a lot of video and tried to edit down to highlights and minimize shakiness/pans/zooms. There’s 45 minutes of edited video split into three parts, each clip is available in 720p HD:

Day 4:

We started out with a walk alongside the Taedong River in Pyongyang. Before getting there, our driver needed to get some gas for the van, so we made a little detour to the fuel station. I was very interested to see this setup, but alas, not for foreigners. We all got out of the van on the road near the fuel center while the driver drove into the compound to fuel up. So, no comments on the the fuel situation. I’m sure it’s better than Cambodia though, refueling at the roadside with 1 liter soda and liquor bottles filled with gasoline. I had noticed the absence of obvious fuel stations around town though. The walk along the Taedong was scenic and calm. We’ve driven along it plenty of times, and the scene always looked similar. I don’t think anything was staged there. Just some old men fishing and little kids playing. It was a nice day to be outside. We got picked up again by the driver when we reached Kim Il Sung Square in the middle of Pyongyang.

Next up for the morning was called the “Great People’s Study House.” Basically, it’s a public library. A really big and really expensive library. Also, it has some classes that citizens can take there in foreign languages and a few other subjects. The first room they took us to had the complete works of Kim Il Sung. Hundreds of books. There were only like two people in that room. Surely the whole “great leader” bit has to get boring with even these guys eventually. The local guide directed our attention to the desks in the room…. they had tabletops that were adjustable in angle and height. It seems that the great leader paid a visit to the place decades ago and said that it was unacceptable to have the study chairs and tables be only one height. Other people would have just went with adjustable chairs, but these guys tore apart the tables and modified the tables instead. That’s the self reliant Juche spirit! They told that story like it was the most amazing insight from the president. To me, he just sounded like a caricature of an impossible to please boss. Every place you go though, they can tell you the day and time of any visits by the Kims (they make plaques about these visits) and will cherish every utterance from them. One thing at the library that was interesting to me was the computer area. They had lots of computers and they were all networked on this special DPRK-specific intranet. I think that might just be a little scarier than no internet, because this setup gives the appearance to many people of free access to information. They let us check out the computers a bit and prompted us to search for “anything.” I didn’t want to do any politically loaded searches, so I opted to do a literature search on one of the “newer” (20 years) inhaled anesthetic agents to see what would come up. Plenty of articles did, but nothing more recent than ten years ago. I think every single document in that system has been filtered and approved. Like everything we’re allowed to see here, it felt a bit staged. Even still, it’s not too hard to read between the lines.

Next stop was a hospital that specialized in traditional medicine. In DPRK, they call it “Koryo Medicine,” but it shares plenty with Chinese and other traditional approaches to medicine. Acupuncture, Cupping, burning herbs, etc. It was interesting I suppose. They brought us through all the treatment rooms and demonstrated some of the techniques. They did cupping on a lady and used “Koryo Medicine.” First, they injected this yellow, oily “medicine” under the skin, and then they used the cups to suction it back out. I just can’t imagine the benefit of getting your back all bruised up from that, but plenty of people do it, and they come back for more.

After lunch, we went on a tour of the “Children’s Palace.” There are facilities like this one all over the country (we also saw one in Kaesong), but the one in Pyongyang is the largest. This was a pretty cool little setup. Kids who demonstrate an aptitude in some creative outlet (art, music, crafts, etc.) are invited to spend time at the “palace” and will visit after school and on days off. We toured some of the art and music classrooms, and ultimately everyone (multiple small groups) gathered in an auditorium for a skit show performed by the kids from the palace. The equipment and facility were all very nice, and…. for appearances only or not, resources are definitely being used for the place. It really makes sense though, you have to heavily invest in the children to maintain a system like that. You need true believers. Not only that, these kids will eventually be creating the art and music that will elevate and glorify the leadership for the rest of the population.

After finishing up at the palace, we headed north out of Pyongyang a couple hours to Mt. Myohyang, where we stayed the night. The food was a little different (for once), the beer was a different brand (the Pyongyang brand is better), and the hot water and electricity were a bit more sketchy. We slept ok though, no problem.

Day 5:

On the agenda was a visit to a Buddhist temple, the “International Friendship Exhibition,” and hiking on Mt. Myohyang.

The Buddhist temple was pretty and well maintained. Nothing particularly amazing objectively if compared against, say, Thailand. But that’s not what’s interesting in this case, it’s the system in which it exists. Officially, freedom of religion exists in the DPRK. Unofficially though, maybe not so much. But here we were, being taken to a Buddhist temple to meet a “monk,” complete with a Kim Il Sung pin. He said that Kim Il Sung believed that Juche and Buddhism are beliefs that compliment each other and sort of, gave the religion his blessing, so to speak. There’s not a lot of Buddhists in DPRK though. Coincidence? Doubtful. Everyone is religious in DPRK, it’s just that their religion is Juche. It was interesting to see the temple here, and it’s nice to see that these places are maintained.

Next up was the “International Friendship Exhibition.” This is a complex out in the mountains with a couple very secure buildings that tunnel into the hillside. Each building houses the many thousands of “gifts” to the Kim’s from countries around the world. We had already read plenty of accounts of this place, so we kind of knew ahead of time what to expect. Lots of the gifts, a majority even, are from communist parties and supporters from around the world, as well as from governments with really authoritarian dictators (ie: Libya, and Mubarak-led Egypt). The gifts from the U.S….. well, not too many. Several tacky sculptures from the Rev. Billy Graham. Several glass paperweights from CNN. Some plaques from wackjob supporters in the U.S. And most interesting…. a basketball signed by Michael Jordan presented by Madeleine Albright to Kim Jong Il. We also asked to check out the sections with gifts from South Korea (electronics, furniture, a top of the line Hyundai, some other oddities), Japan (Seiko clocks, paintings, pottery), and Mexico (tacky tourist stuff given by communist supporters in Mexico). The place is really huge and visiting is a really formal affair. All belongings are checked and you have to put cloth covers over your shoes. It’s a really odd shrine to the personality cult that exists in DPRK. Very weird.

After spending all that time looking at the now somewhat ironic gifts from prior leaders in Iraq, Egypt, Lybia, Tunisia, Syria (and plenty of others)….. I had to ask. When we were outside away from other ears (I think), I asked Harold:

“Have you heard about what has been going on in the middle east this year, starting in the spring?”

He replied that he had in fact. He said that “they” had been following it. Then, he gave a fairly long and most definitely scripted answer about the government needing to meet the needs of the people and if they don’t they’ll be removed. It was a nice answer. The scripted nature of the answer though told me it’s not a topic worth exploring. I think the guides go through extensive briefings on talking points to make sure they’re able to “stay on script” with us rabble-rousing foreigners. The candid discussions come from random things. They can’t be briefed on everything.

To close out the day we did some hiking up Mt. Myohyang. We were never above treeline, just a brisk, well marked hike up alongside waterfalls and on bridges across ravines. Very pretty unscarred natural landscape. Harold came with us on the hike, and we were pretty sure he was getting a bit winded with our pace. He didn’t/wouldn’t say it though, he just waved us on. It’s the pride. I can relate to that. We had fun, it was a nice hike, albeit a little drizzly off and on. Afterwards we headed back to the Yanggakdo in Pyongyang for the night.

The long drives were really an incredible opportunity to interact with our guides in a way more informal and relaxed way. At every site we visit, there’s an unspoken tension, since we have a “local” guide as well with us. It really keeps you from talking too freely because you just met the local person and you don’t want to say anything to get your guides in trouble. In the van though, every indication is that it’s a safe haven that’s not being monitored. The questions and the conversation are way more candid. Shirley saw we had an iPod with us and was interested in listening to what we had on it. It’s a rare opportunity to hear things they haven’t ever (and can’t) listen to. If I’d thought about it ahead of time, I would’ve loaded a way more diverse playlist on that thing. As it stood, I had an eclectic mix of electronica and synth pop. The Korean music they listen to is decidedly bland, so I knew there were plenty of tracks on there that would make her ears bleed…. so, I set it for her to listen to some of the older stuff like Depeche Mode and Electric Light Orchestra. She liked both of them. Techno of any sort is a no go. The most ironic song in the playlist (and subsequently my personal theme song for the DPRK) is “I’m Afraid of Americans” by David Bowie. I think on a future visit, I’d pick up a secondhand shuffle or nano and load it with like a “pop hits” playlist from the 1950s to the present. If I had a guide that was cool and interested, it’d be an awesome (and, I guess, slightly contraband) gift. Really though, they live in a completely insulated society that’s been on a completely separate trajectory from the rest of the world since 1953. You name it…. and they haven’t heard of it. It’s pretty weird.

Day 6:

The mission control center in the next hotel room is kind of a joke to us at this point. We feel certain we’re being monitored, so we just make light of it as best we can. All our small talk has got to be boring.

Today we headed south out of Pyongyang first thing in the morning. The first stop was a large dam finished up in the 1980s called the “West Sea Barrage.” Basically, a large dam that keeps the ocean saltwater from flowing back into the river with the tide, permitting the river water to be used as irrigation for the surrounding farms. It was nice and all, a testament to the massive flow of Soviet money that came in to the DPRK pre-1991. Living in, and having visited other industrialized countries though, engineering feats like this are pretty easy to take for granted. It was a quick stop though. Couple pictures, and off to the next place.

Then we visited Sinchon village and the museum there. If you’re familiar with the “Sinchon Massacre” (if not, just check out Wikipedia for a mostly objective version) that’s what the museum was related to. It was pretty anti-American (as expected) and the plot read like a Hollywood script, complete with heinous villains and heroic martyrs. The delivery, to me, seemed a little over the top. Who knows though, it was their version of things.

After the museum and memorial sites, we drove the rest of the way to Kaesong to spend the night. We checked out a large bronze statue of Kim Il Sung and also went through some woods to a scenic overlook of old Kaesong. Kaesong is unique in that it is one of very few cities that were completely spared from bombing during the Korean War. Both sides thought the city would be theirs at the close of the war, so they both left it untouched. Well, Kaesong went to the north, and it looks, I think, much the same as it ever did. The city is the closest major city to the DMZ on the north side. As we started to walk towards the scenic overlook in Kaesong, I commented that it smelled like fireworks. Martha agreed. Yeah, definitely a strong smell of fireworks. Harold quickly replied that no, there were definitely no fireworks. Wait, did he chuckle a little when he said that? Hmmm…. We hadn’t heard any explosions or anything. I know they do plenty of testing and practice near the DMZ to rattle the nerves of the other side. We just hoped that there wasn’t any actual developments. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t tell us if there were developments, but I’m also pretty sure that would cancel our DMZ visit scheduled for the next day. No worries I guess. Ignorance is bliss.

As soon as we got to the scenic overlook, I heard some noises from the city below, like a small child imitating a bird. I saw the street where it was coming from, and a boy was running uphill towards our area. Then I noticed groups of elementary school-aged boys flanking us from the left and right. Both groups had toy guns and slingshots. The group on the left took cover from a safe distance, and the group on the right settled behind some rocks maybe 15 yards away. One of the boys yelled “Hello! What’s your name?” We replied with our names and he yelled back “Nice to meet you Mike and Martha.” Very cute. He was the brave one out of the bunch. They got skittish with pictures at this point, and Martha pulled out one of our candy filled “gift bags.” She gestured to Harold if she should try to bring it to them, but the kids immediately retreated a little. Harold said we should leave it on our rock and then we’ll leave. This now became: “Operation Candy Drop.” We left the candy and chocolate, and I lagged behind to try and steal a few pictures of them making off with the goodies. The brave boy ran out first, but then one of his friends screamed bloody murder in Korean, probably “STOP! You’re gonna get killed!” The kid made a fast retreat back to their rocks, and then after we got a little higher he ran out again and grabbed the candy. I managed to see them regrouping at another rock with their spoils, dividing up the candy.

The hotel in Kaesong is absolutely beautiful. It’s like a traditional Japanese Ryokan (hotspring resort). Well, except it’s Korean. Oh, and there’s no hot water or electricity. Other than that though, basically a resort. Martha got some nice sunset pictures there. Tomorrow is our last day in DPRK, and we’re scheduled to visit the DMZ before heading back to Pyongyang.

Day 7:

Today was a pretty relaxed day, all things considered. We headed out first thing to the DMZ. Seeing it from the north side….. maybe some of the fear is removed. Isn’t that the attraction…. the unknown? We know what’s on the south side, and it’s not scary to us. Now, here we are on the north side, getting along fine, looking back towards what we already know. “Scariest place on earth.” Nah, I don’t think so. Maybe Clinton should have visited from the north. We drove past beautiful green farmland (really, like much of the DPRK), huge fields of rice and corn. There’s a little, kind of, waiting area at the DMZ border where the tour groups (mostly Chinese) all wait for their turns to move forward. If you’re not familiar with the setup, basically each side, north and south, have a 2 km zone where heavy military weapons are not permitted, only sidearms. There is an area where the two sides meet called the “Joint Security Area.” When you think of the DMZ, the JSA is probably what you picture. Seven plain buildings, each split exactly in the middle between North and South Korea. On each side, a large building overlooking the small buildings where the talks are held. Before we went to the JSA, we went to an outpost where the original armistice agreement was signed in 1953. Some nice photo ops there, and we even got to take photos with the DPRK military officer. He was really nice and surprisingly laid back. At the table where the armistice talks were held, a group of Chinese tourists posed for pictures shaking hands with an older German couple that was there. Our guide Shirley told them “my tourists are real Americans.” Lol, as opposed to white-skinned stand-ins. It kind of sounded like she was bragging =) Pretty funny. Once we got to the JSA, it got a little more uptight and formal. We went through the usual routine, go inside the building, take pictures of you standing on the “other” side (in this case, south). You know, Martha sitting at the table, halfway in South Korea. Then, we went up to the top of the DPRK building and took some pictures. The south side is the one with all the cameras. Honestly, I think the south side looks more threatening. After a quick visit, we were off. A couple packs of cigarettes and some fresh fruit for our friendly military officer, and we started heading back. On the way back to Pyongyang, we stopped by another Korean tomb. Earlier in the trip we saw the tomb of King Kongmin, now we saw a rebuilt complex with multiple tombs. It was in a very scenic area, and it was nice to break things up with sites that don’t completely revolve around the Kim’s and the current government.

When we got back to Pyongyang, we made a quick stop at “Paradise Department Store” before dinner. This was actually a real department store (sorry, no pictures allowed though). A couple stories and maybe the size of like a Sears. They had a grocery section with imported groceries, liquor and cigarettes, cosmetics, clothing, furniture, appliances, and home goods. Everything in the store was imported, and everything was very expensive. This is the store where the “upper class” Pyongyang citizens shop. The only problem with that though is that there’s not supposed to be any classes in the DPRK. Interesting. They had Shiseido and Lancome products priced 2-3 times higher than you’d expect in the west. Most of the clothing was Chinese designer knock-offs, but priced higher than real designer stuff. They had a junky, used, knock-off Disney, child’s backpack for $110 equivalent. Basic sofas cost about $10,000 equivalent. This place was pretty surprising. Not sure how to process where a place like this fits in. I don’t know if seeing this even helps with their talking points, since this is a private retail endeavor that seems to contradict the ideals their government was founded on. In reality though, it has to be a good thing. It fuels demand for the world outside of DPRK…. for the people that buy the stuff, for the people that window shop, and for everyone else that sees people with the stuff.

For dinner, we were told we were heading to a farewell meal of…. say that again…. “DOCK Barbecue.” Shirley said it was usually “the foreigner’s favorite.” I got a little pit in my stomach. Dock? I mean, that’s the same way she pronounced “Dog” earlier when was telling us how delicious it is and that they don’t see it the same way as Westerners. But that can’t be a foreigner favorite, right? Right? We walked into the restaurant and every table had plates of raw meat next to the grill in the middle of the table. Bowls of raw flesh, two per table. I think my horror may have been slightly visible. Gulp. Shirley must have recognized this, and she said “You’ve have Beijing Duck before, right?” Ok, sigh. Duck, not dog. Yeah, that sounds more like a foreigner favorite. And it was, damn delicious. Maybe even better than Beijing duck. Spicy, and not as oily. I’m not sure if it’s better than barbecued dog though =)

After dinner, we caught another showing of the Arirang Mass Games. Maybe not as much energy as opening night, but still incredible. Back at the hotel….. last minute shopping…. and we played a round of bowling downstairs at the hotel. Up to that point we had mostly stayed away from downstairs. They have a Chinese casino in one section, and in the other a bowling alley, swimming pool, and then billiards and table tennis and such. Packing up that night, it started to sink in that we were gonna be heading out the next morning. Sad? Maybe a little. Just when we were starting to get used to the place. We weren’t too sad though. There was always a feeling like every move, every utterance, was being monitored. It was convenient to have guides to tell us when and where to go…. but that’s not how we normally travel, so it was starting to feel a little oppressive. Overall, we were ready to head out and regain at least a perceived sense of privacy and freedom of movement.

I slept good on the last night knowing we’d seen what we came to see, did what we came to do, and bought all we’d wanted to buy. It was time to start transitioning home.

Day 8:

Not much to say. Straight to the airport. We got our passports back and got back the iPhone. Immigration took our visas and left our passports unmarked. I think that’s the routine in most countries that have taken on the international role of pariah. The flight back to Beijing was uneventful (Still no checked bags!!!)….. and that’s that.

In the time since we got back, we’ve kind of slowly decompressed over a few days, trying to make sense of North Korea. It’s like a cult…. except, it’s a whole country. How can that be? We keep wondering, who enforces things? Where are the thought police? So many things there just don’t make sense. And yet, it’s existed in that state for decades… for generations now. Kim Il Sung laid the foundation in the DPRK for politics as the religion. Worship of the national leaders. It’s really, really scary. I know that a lot of the American policy was misguided during the cold war, but after this trip I think I better understand what they were fighting against, and what they were afraid of. They were afraid of a world that looks like the DPRK. If that sounds like a terrible trip, it absolutely wasn’t. To me, to us, it’s at the essence of what travel should be…. experiencing a way of life different from your own. I can’t imagine anything more different from our way of life than North Korea.

Riding home on the Air Koryo plane, in addition to the usual excessively noisy engines, we experienced some turbulence. Martha said the noise and turbulence were because we weren’t on a plane. No, we weren’t on a plane. We were in a time machine to another dimension. It’s funny, kind of, but that’s how it felt, especially a couple of days later, back in the “real” world. I recommend a visit to anyone though. You interact with people far more than you might think. Your presence there is a contradiction to everything these people have grown up learning. The little seeds of capitalism that sprout from these visits may just serve to erode the foundation of power there. The people seeing and hearing little hints of the outside world that contradict all that they’ve been told. These things can only serve to bridge the gap that exists between this country and these people and the rest of the world. The tourist revenue, in the short run, may provide funds to a fanatical, despotic regime. But…. in the long run, I think this is very, very expensive money for the government. The people see things. The people want things. The people will get things…. and you can’t govern without consent. Who knows though, maybe the DPRK will go on just like it is for another 100 years. For the sake of the population there, I sure hope not.

***Click on any image below to expand. You can browse the gallery with arrow keys and exit with the escape key***

You can’t love every place you visit. Who would want to? Maybe sometimes the culture shock is more shocking (or gross) than you can get over. Looking back on this trip, we want to visit most of the places again, or at least see other cities in those countries. We want to see St. Petersburg in Russia, Mumbai & Goa & Kolkata in India, Hanoi in Vietnam. We want to see everything in Cambodia. As for China, well…. Shanghai and Hong Kong are convenient airport hubs…. maybe even a brief stop there one day.

So, with that, Ill try to make an objective list for why China is still a good vacation destination:  1: Beautiful scenic spots, 2: Ancient architectural marvels, and 3: The food is rich and varies significantly from your local takee-outee

And in the interest of fairness, here’s a list of why we didn’t quite enjoy it as much: 1: Unruly and unhygienic crowd behavior (and there are tons of crowds here), 2: Everything has been overly commercialized and “refurbished” (read: reconstructed) and the souvenirs are cheesy and chintzy, and 3: The food is rich and varies significantly from your local takee-outee (sometimes, your stomach just can’t take it anymore!).

For now though, this trip has come to an end. We had an incredible time, and all of it will be unforgettable, the good and the bad. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading so far. We’ll post the DPRK trip report as soon as we get home. The post is written and pictures are organized, but there is still some video and text to edit and proof. We might just throw in a pre and post-trip highschool-style “superlatives” list as well.

Until next time…. As Mike says, here’s to seeking out danger that’s not too dangerous.

Complete China gallery below:

***Click on any picture to enlarge. You can browse with arrow keys and exit with escape key.***

Advanced maneuver

Sometimes the most entertaining thing at a tourist site is not the site itself… but the tourists. This is certainly true in China. Just find a comfortable vantage point to observe the subjects in their natural habitat, behaving naturally, and you will likely be entertained by an array of both highly predictable and completely unpredictable behaviors. It should be noted that as a Westerner there is a distinct risk of altering their behavior via the Hawthorne effect. When they know they’re being watched directly, they will oftentimes scale down their routine. However, even this is unpredictable…. sometimes their behavior becomes even more absurd, particularly if they think you’re waiting on them to finish. One absolutely certain principle though: if a Westerner sets up a tripod, anywhere, at any time, no matter how empty the place, Chinese people will be attracted like flies to honey. Take the photo below for example. We were at a large monument (The Big Wild Goose Pagoda) in Xi’an and started taking terrible photos of the monument blocked by a tree, just to see what the locals did. Next thing you know, we were surrounded and they were taking the same photo!

In addition to knock-off photographic composition, bad wardrobe choices, and odd social behavior, one thing we found particularly interesting in China were the often predictable photography poses. Possibly a modern Chinese variant of Yoga, locals will assume sequences of poses and maintain them for extended periods in the hot sun. Sometimes they will need to maintain these poses for quite a while in order to capture the perfect photograph, crowded with other people in the background.

“The Soaring Phoenix”

This may be the most common pose, seen at any large crowded monument. We had initially assumed this to be primarily a female behavior, but further study in the field failed to produce many example of females engaging in this behavior. We’ve since decided that this may actually be primarily a male Chinese pose. This particular pose may have actually made (as Martha termed it) “The Great Sino-Western Photographic Migration,” as it can occasionally be observed being performed by Westerners. It is debatable whether this pose actually originated in the west and is simply being imitated in China.

It is a near certainty that young pairs will each assume the same poses consecutively.

Note that this is not a pose reserved only for young people though, it can span generations.

And look at these guys, one Phoenix just isn’t enough:

Here’s Martha, performing an improvised Phoenix pose:

It’s an essential part of Chinese vacation photos.

“Terracotta Warrior Holding a Spear”

This is another common posture taken by locals. Are the they pointing at a distant object? Sort of. Grabbing the distant object in their imagination. Maybe. Our theory is that they are actually holding an imaginary spear, and that this posture is a display of dominance and ownership of the distant object.

“The Preying Mantis”

This is a rare variant, possibly an evolution of the Terracotta Warrior pose. As you can see, he is attempting to devour a distant monument with his “claw.”

“The Japanese Knock-Off”

This posture is easy to distinguish from the genuine Japanese article by the subjects’ level of excitement. Japanese people know that deploying double peace signs is serious business, and they act accordingly. If the person is behaving in a loud and overly exuberant manner, it is likely a Chinese counterfeit.

“The Strictly Business”

There may actually be a minor backlash in China against these imaginary and exaggerated postures involving flight and the conquest of distant objects. Here you can observe a local with a far more grounded posture. A pose like this makes a bold statement in China. Note that he has shorts on, telling everyone “I’m on vacation.” However, the inability to part from his briefcase, even for a second, tells observers: “I’m always at work.”

This guy is on such a tight vacation schedule, he can’t even unpack! He may just have brought the entire office with him on his vacation.

“The Reclining Buddha”

He’s in the zone. He’s achieved nirvana. His motto in life: “The ladies love the tower.”

“Panda in the Shade”

This guy doesn’t pose for photographs, he just doesn’t have time. It takes a lot of bamboo to maintain that figure. Also, he really hates the sun. Hates it.

“Crane Against The Sunset”

This is primarily a posture assumed by females. It’s a display of balance and, like the Crane, symbolizes longevity. You can frequently observe local females posing in many variations of this posture. The common element is one raised foot.

Here’s Martha in proper “Crane” posture:

“The Cowardly Crane”

A very subtle variation of the traditional Crane posture. Note the timid and ever so slightly raised rear foot. She wants to allude to the Crane pose, but is too shy to completely assume the correct posture.

“The Bouncing Tiger”

This is a tough one. It’s difficult to capture in the wild, as it is typically over in an instant. This pose has definitely made “The Great Sino-Western Photographic Migration,” and can be seen in the photographs of many Westerners. In this example, Martha is trying her hardest to fly out of China.

Oh, and one final pic, at Martha’s insistence. She just really loved this lady’s footwear.

So as you can see, we’ve been enjoying ourselves and finding ways to make the best of our remaining time in China. After returning from the DPRK a few days ago, we hopped on a flight to Xi’an and crossed off another big “must see” attraction in China. The Terracotta Warriors. Nothing much to say there, crowded site in a mostly touristy city. The drive out to the warriors took us past rolling pastures of farmland. Well, maybe not rolling, since you couldn’t see very far with all the smog. I’m thinking that the millions of cars in China are only part of the problem. It’s probably more related to unregulated industry, coal burning, and things like that. We passed several large industrial complexes with smokestacks hard at work. Martha called them “cloud factories.” Very quaint. Honestly though, we’re both still decompressing a little from the North Korea trip, and we’ve found ourselves talking about it constantly, no matter where we’re at. A lot of the stuff we saw there takes time to process. I promise the DPRK post is coming though, there’s just a lot to sort through.

One interesting place in Xi’an is called the “Muslim Quarter.” Apparently Xi’an was the ancient terminus of the “Silk Road.” Many Muslims settled in this area and a walk through the district really feels like a walk outside of China. Shopkeepers selling all manner of dried fruits and Arabic-style breads, several mosques, including the historic “Great Mosque,” calls to prayer being heard over loudspeakers, men and women wearing traditional head coverings. We really enjoyed spending a little time in this district, and it really feels like a totally different region of the world.

As for our visit though, it was a complete success. No complaints from either of us. We haven’t gotten much sleep in the past week because they’ve been cracking the whip, keeping us on schedule. We went all over the DPRK and saw a lot of things: temples, monuments, museums, tombs, “stores,” mountain hiking, the DMZ and JSA…. and let’s not forget the Arirang Mass Games. We saw them twice, the first on opening night! …and I just might have been shown on DPRK state television too =)

I did some journaling while we were there, and took tons of pictures and video. It’ll take me a little bit to get that organized, and I’ll post everything as soon as I can. In the meantime….

Today we had a pre-trip briefing on the DPRK at our tour agency and we picked up our visas and flight information. They provided a lot of the “dos and don’ts” ahead of time via e-mail, but they went over everything today in person in a lot more detail. It was all very interesting and it really got both of us excited that this previously very indefinite part of our trip seems to actually be coming together.

I’ll briefly go over some of the main issues of concern that were addressed today. A big issue is photography and videotaping. Officially, videocameras are not allowed in the country, although still cameras with video function are allowed. There is officially a 150mm lens limit on cameras, but apparently this isn’t enforced. My tele lens is only 140mm though, so I should be good either way. They talked about photography for a while, but the main take home point is that you need to ask permission before taking any photographs. We should be able to take loads of photographs, but we always need to ask.

Another point regarding photography was a really thought-provoking one for me. They talked about the cultural differences in the taking of pictures between western and asian people. Well, specifically with Korean people, but from what I’ve seen recently, it definitely applies to China as well. Basically, the concept of taking aesthetically pleasing, well composed photographs of random objects is very bizarre to them. Taking isolated pictures of a monument or a building is also apparently a strange concept to them. Rather, they would tend to always take photos of themselves at a particular place. Not that we don’t do that too, but that’s the extent of photography to them, as they explained. Why a foreigner would be snapping seemingly random pictures of city street scenes or a storefront or whatever is confusing and arouses suspicion. “Why are they taking pictures of that? Are they trying to show that something isn’t clean, or that a store isn’t well stocked?” As explained, photography to them is simply “capturing a moment.”

That got me thinking a bit about my approach to photography in China versus what I’ve seen locals doing. The locals don’t seem to care about strangers in their pictures, not at all. Is that simply “capturing the moment” too? I mean, if you’re at a crowded monument, I guess it would make sense to have a crowd in your photograph. From that perspective, maybe the lengths we go to eliminate strangers in our photos are a bit disingenuous. In fact, maybe from any perspective they are. I guess that’s what I like about photography though, with the right timing and trickiness, you can really manipulate a moment to your liking. Maybe the photographs I see people taking are more honest than mine. Well, or maybe they’re just terrible random snapshots. Yeah, I’m gonna go with that.

Ok, so back to the briefing…. Don’t ever take any photographs depicting Kim Il Sung or Kim Jung Il that cut off part of their figure. Cutting off their feet or an arm in a photograph is like cutting it off in real life. Photos can be cropped later. On the same note, don’t ever fold a newspaper in a way that folds the Kims. Definitely don’t deface or throw away a newspaper with them on it. Never talk bad about them. Never talk about the rumors that are common in the west, such as Kim Jung Il loving American movies and whiskey and pornography. Don’t ask about a successor to Kim Jung Il, it’s suggesting that he’ll eventually die, which you shouldn’t do. Don’t talk about religion or politics. Don’t argue with their version of history. Apparently everything we’ve been taught is western propaganda (just like we say everything they’ve been taught is communist propaganda). The South Koreans started the war, so get that straight. Don’t refer to them as “North Korea.” It’s Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK). Let’s see, what have I left out? Don’t go anywhere without my personal government guide, and only go exactly where they tell me to go. If I misbehave, they will be punished, not me. That’s not too cool, so I’ll definitely behave. And yep, I think that about covers it.

We did a little pre-DPRK shopping earlier today. We’ve planned on having gifts for our guides and we finished getting everything to be proper polite guests that will represent our evil country well. Back in Vietnam, I picked up a carton of Marlboros (per an online suggestion). It was $17 U.S. in Vietnam, which sounded like a good price, but I don’t smoke so I’m not sure how good at the present time. I do know that I haven’t seen Marlboros (or any western brand) for sale at any price during our entire time in China though. I’m sure they’re here, I just haven’t seen them at airports or convenience stores or anywhere, just Chinese cigarettes. So, Marlboro red flip-top boxes, that’ll go to the male guide. For the female guide we’ve got some nice Imported cookies and face cream. Then, we made up small gift bags with imported chocolates and candies for the guides at the individual sites we’ll be visiting. Kind of a pain to put that together, but it had to be done here in Beijing. It’s not like we can bring that stuff around the world with us. We also got some fresh fruit and Oreos to bring. They can’t hate us with all those goodies right?

We’re both really excited about the trip though, I think it’s gonna be tons of fun and absolutely unforgettable. We’re hoping to see the “mass games” twice (once for photos and video, and once to just enjoy it). If you’re not familiar with “Mass Games” or “Arirang,” look it up on YouTube. It’s a spectacle like no other held in the largest stadium on earth. We’re also gonna get as many kitschy souvenirs as we can possibly find and buy. Hopefully that equals a lot of souvenirs.

Ok…. soooo…. wrapping up for today, we hopped over to the stadium from the 2008 Olympics and grabbed a few pics just after sunset. I’ll leave you guys with those pics. We’re gonna be in an internet black hole for the next seven days, so, definitely won’t be any updates during the DPRK visit. I’ll try to update ASAP, even a short one, as soon as we’re back in Beijing.

Anyhow, today we started out at emperor…. errr, I mean “chairman” Mao’s mausoleum. It’s only open from 0800-1200 on certain days, so you gotta make it your morning priority if you want to see it. Forgive me for constantly comparing, but my main reference for this kind of thing is Lenin’s mausoleum. Really though, Lenin died in 1924, and Mao died in 1976. Besides the massive cultural differences in the respective countries, there’s a pretty tremendous gap in available technology for engineering, construction, and the science in preserving a human body indefinitely between those dates. The building that houses Mao Zedong’s body is far more impressive then Lenin’s. It’s a huge structure with towering Romanesque columns on the front of the building. It’s set back kind of far from the public area in Tiananmen square, with gardens and a couple security checkpoints in the intervening space, so you don’t really get a great look at the building until you go through the process of visiting it. When we got there this morning, there was a HUGE line. I mean really huge. Like at least five times as long as “Space Mountain” in Disney World…. on the fourth of July. Oh yeah, and just as hot.

To the right is a shot from  one of the turns that the line made towards the end. The line snaked around the equivalent of at least 1-2 city blocks and then backtracked on itself a couple times. See if you can pick out a certain white guy in the line. At Lenin’s mausoleum, they kept tight crowd control at the site. In addition to very limited operating hours there, they would also shut it down once the line got to a certain size. The demand at Mao’s place is WAY bigger though, and you would have some really pissed off Chinese people if they pulled that there. The line did move fast though, and as always it was an entertaining window in to Chinese social dynamics and group behavior. Line cutting (or attempted), yelling, hacking, spitting…. Oh, and what crowded site would be complete without parents assisting toddlers to urinate right there on the concrete, right there in the line? Geez, at least in India they took them off to a patch of grass or something. Like Martha said before, watch out for puddles on the sidewalk…. Ok where were we? Differences…. Another difference at this site is with the bags. Of course, no bags are allowed at either site, but at Lenin’s they actually allowed you to check your bags with people right at the site, rather than lockers off somewhere else. We opted to just do it in two visits. I went today, and Martha will go tomorrow. We had two daypacks with us, and also Martha had a sleeveless dress and sandals, and I saw a couple ladies get removed from the line for inappropriate attire. As far as the actual visit…. like any of these, it’s over in an instant. You approach this imposing structure, guards start quieting everyone down. For once, I’m in a dense crowd of Chinese people and it’s actually quiet. The first room you enter is huge and open. The ceiling is a couple stories up and it’s all open space. The focus in the room is a large white stone statue of Mao in a chair, looking down on us in a grandfatherly sort of way. The air is heavy with the smell of cut flowers of all sorts, and there’s a pile of them several feet high spreading across the room laid at the foot of the statue. Behind the statue are many, many potted flowers and plants. On the wall is a color mural across the entire room. It depicts mountains jutting out from the landscape wrapped in clouds. Maybe like Guilin just after sunrise. In the center of the mural, it almost looks like a high altitude lake surrounded by mountains, kind of like pictures I’ve seen of “Heaven Lake” on Mount Baekdu in North Korea. I know that place is culturally and spiritually significant to Korean’s, not sure about the Chinese. After you pass through the first room, you get corralled through a hallway into the viewing room. The murmur of many whispers and gasps are peppered throughout the crowd as it passes through the room. There wasn’t any sound dampening in the place like at Lenin’s, so all the sounds really carry. Mao is behind two hermetically sealed containers. The first is a little bigger than a coffin, and he lays there as perfectly preserved as a plastic mold. He’s wearing that signature green fatigue military coat and looks just as he looks in every depiction you see of him on plaques, shirts, bags, and statues. Outside of the coffin is another glass room with a couple well-disciplined guards standing a few feet from the coffin. And just like that, you’re back out in the stifling cacophony of Beijing and Tiananmen square. There are several shops connected with the place that are selling only Mao-related swag (plaques, busts, keychains, books, videos, jewelry, etc.) before you pass through the exit gates. Mao is quite the capitalist icon here…. Oh, wait a minute, I’m confusing things… he’s a communist icon. Or something like that. Well, at least they’re selling Mao items outside his memorial. Across from Lenin’s mausoleum, there’s just a really fancy mall selling jewelry and Rolex watches and stuff.

So after Mao, it was off to the Forbidden City. I won’t bore you with detailed descriptions of the place, I’ll just put a few pictures:

"Nine Dragons Screen" Forbidden City

The area around The Forbidden City, as you might imagine, is rife with touts and scammers. I don’t entertain anyone who approaches on the street in China. Nobody. Not for a minute. Not only that, I generally dismiss them with as much venom and contempt as I can spit at them. For the record, I’m not talking about shopkeepers or drink vendors or bicycle rickshaws. I totally get it with them, they’re just trying to make an honest (mostly honest) hard-earned living. I’m talking about the shysters that come strutting up with “Hey, where you going?” or whatever. They even prey on the westerner desire for legitimate interaction with “Would you mind if I practice English with you?” My responses have devolved to just “get away” or “leave us alone” with a dismissive wave of the hand. Pair that with a tightening of the face, the clenching of a fist, and a stare right into their black soul that says “step forward and I’m going straight for your throat and eyes” and they usually make an abrupt about-face and leave you alone. It really hardens you to meet so many people with such a variety of presentations that are all scammers though. Yesterday, among a few really nice interactions, there was one interaction that reminded me that not everyone here is a devious scammer. This guy, without much effort, really pulled me back from an abyss of bigotry. We’re walking down a back street in the tourist area and for the umpteenth time some guy strides up jabbering away some B.S. in broken English. I give the “I dare you to take another step” wave-off and he tucks tail. Then, this guy to our side and behind us sighs with disgust and comes up a little closer to us. He said: “Don’t talk to anyone that comes up to you speaking English. All of these college kids are on break and all they do with their time is try to scam tourists. Don’t say a word to any of them.” With that, he had a turn to make and that was that. No other agenda. He was himself a college-aged Chinese guy, and irony aside, it was really remarkable to see somebody outside of the lines of scammer and “just minding my own business.” I’ll try to remember that guy when I encounter scammer after look-alike scammer.

Later in the evening, we caught a Chinese acrobat show, which was really incredible. It’s not the sort of spectacle that lends itself to still photographs though. It’s a display of physics, of motion, of tightly controlled movement just on the verge of chaos. We got to the place just a few minutes late and the show had started, so we may have just hopped into a couple empty, right up-front extra plush 700 yuan (~$110) seats when we only booked 200 yuan ($35) seats. That’ll work! I recommend catching one of these shows to anyone who visits here. Meh to the Peking Opera, Hell Yeah to the acrobats! The climax of the show was five motorcycles in a metal sphere only 6 meters in diameter.

Yeah, so after the show, on the way home walking to the subway, we did see something a little odd. I mean, a lot of things are odd in China, but I think….. we think…. this may even be odd for China. Walking down a fairly crowded sidewalk after sunset, stores are closing up…. random loiterers…. old men huddled around playing mahjong or whatever….. old ladies power-walking…. motor scooters cutting traffic on the sidewalk…. people gathered around greasy food carts snarfling up little grilled bits…. a man walking down the sidewalk in a pair of slippers and a bathrobe with the bathrobe open and flapping behind him, revealing his obese, hairy, butt-naked body. Wait, WHAT?! We walked by, a moment passed, I processed that for a minute and said to Martha: “Do you want to talk about that, or just pretend we didn’t see it?” Yeah, a man in his forties or so, just confidently walking down a crowded sidewalk naked. And nobody paying any attention to him. I got nothing. He wasn’t behaving in a creepy or exhibitionist way, he was just striding down the sidewalk. The best we could come up with is maybe he’s developmentally delayed and he’s under someone’s care, and he “got loose” for a while. Weird though.

Tomorrow we have a mandatory briefing before our North Korea trip and we should find out if our visas are in order and everything. *nervous anticipation* I’ll keep everybody posted.

Well, our itinerary today was to go see the “Temple of Heaven” complex.  We made our way over on the metro, and bought tickets to get in.  In our guide, we read it would be less crowded in the early morning or the late evening, so in our minds we thought “so, there will be like 20 tour groups instead of 50. Super.” As we walked in, we bought a guide map of the place to make sure we got to where we wanted to go. Hyperbole is clearly a cultural norm that we’ve only recently caught onto, since in the description it states that within the Temple of Heaven, the Hall of Prayer for Good Harvests is ”the most famous temple in the world.” Which we took to mean “we wish it was the most famous temple in the world.” Now, in fairness, we did recognize the structure, but mostly because we grew up in Florida going to Disney world and EPCOT, and the China Pavillion has a replica of this monument. So, it is famous, but the “most famous?” Well, we got there and there were throngs of human beings there.  Crawling like ants all over the monument.  We witnessed all sorts of normal behavior like pushing, spitting, hacking, etc.  But, a first for us was when we went up to the doorway to look into the monument, I noticed there were puddles on the ground.  Maybe rain, right? Well, I thought twice after I noticed a parent getting her child BUTT NAKED and squatting them down to pee right outside the doorway! Not even like on the side, or whatever, but, literally, off the step to the entry doorway. So, yeah, mental note, always avoid puddles. Well, we made our way around the monument and sat down on a far end to relax and let the waves and waves of people walk by.  As it got closer to closing time, it started clearing up, but the front of the temple was still packed. So, we took a few good pictures around the back and sides of the monument, and were quite satisfied that we would walk away with decent pictures.  Then, the guys will bull horns came out and started corralling people out of the area.  We looked at each other, and decided to use the language barrier to our advantage for a change. We were the last ones on the top tier, and set up for a nice picture.  A Chinese guy started yelling at me, so in my most intense body language I said I just wanted 1 picture!!!  Well, remarkably, he stood back and let us take it! Then, I told Mike to slowly make his way down taking pictures, while I walked much faster to appeal to the men in loud speakers.  Our tactics worked, and we managed to get gorgeous pictures of the “most famous temple in the world” with no people in them. We got unprecedented access, lol.
Score!  Just look at the pictures.

"Before"

"After"

"Nine Dragons" tree at Temple of Heaven

Well, satisfied and triumphant with our achievement, we walked around the rest of the complex and it just felt that much nicer. Just before sunset, we left the complex, and made our way to Qianmen Street, a famous shopping street in Beijing. It was originally the path used by the emperor from the Forbidden city to the Temple of Heaven. Famous for having a 600 year history of shopping, we made our way over, skeptical of what it could offer. In our skepticism, we found that it actually met our expectations and was a very nice, relaxed shopping experience! Very pretty lighting, a nice variety of old and new shops, and some small restaurants. Well, having only eaten breakfast in the morning, we were hungry and had heard that we could have Peking duck for cheap here. So, we made our way over to one of the many small restaurants on the side alleys. We picked one that was bustling, and where we could actually see duck on peoples plates.  At half the price of the duck we had the day before, I’d have to say, it was still pretty decent. The flavor was still good, but the skin wasn’t nearly as crispy and “candied” and some of the actual flesh was at times a little dry. I think this is the type of duck most tourists end up getting, though, since before we got the awesome suggestion to go to “Da Dong,” this was where I figured we would get duck. In addition to duck, though, I was interested in trying something different…Pig Ears. My mom had a Chinese friend who showed her how to make pig ears when I was growing up, and I really like them. So, now that I’m in China, I just knew I had to try them. They were a different recipe than my mom makes, but still had the essential crunch I know and love in pig ears.  The cartilage gives a satisfying crispy crunch, but I guess you have to enjoy a variety of textures to enjoy things like that.

Crunchy pig ears

This was our philosophy for picking out where to explore the Great Wall of China. Everyone goes to Badaling. It’s the closest and most convenient option, and thus transportation is much cheaper to get there. Along with this, it’s also the most popular with Chinese tourist groups for its ease of climbing, so there are sections which can get super packed. Before going on our trip, I had seen a program where a guy was sent to China to explore the Great Wall, and Badaling looked like a complete tourist trap nightmare—performing bears in cages, densely crowded with souvenir touts, throngs of people packed shoulder to shoulder being led by megaphone wielding guides—-so I refused to go to Badaling.

Another popular site is the “Muitanu” section. Well, from that description alone, you can imagine that it wasn’t going to be an option for us (“popular” = crowded). So, I looked and dug further and found a group that takes small groups to Jinshanling, a section of the Wall 150 km from Beijing! On gochina.about.com it stated that the hike requires a great deal of exertion and that “those who are very out-of-shape or overweight might want to visit a less precarious section, such as Badaling.”  Of course with that, Mike and I were convinced–Jinshanling it would be! So, that was where we went today. The long drive was completely worth it. The sky was very clear (a far cry from the Beijing “Silent Hill” fog/smog), and the wall was almost empty except for our small group. The hike started off in the Jinshanling section and continued up to the Simatai section where we got picked back up by the driver. It was about an 8 km hike, with plenty of elevation gain and loss through the whole hike. We spent about 4 hours hiking, mostly because of all the leisurely picture-taking stops. It was a nice hike though, and on an incredibly beautiful (especially for China) day. As we got closer to the Simatai section, the wall got rougher and rougher.  There were spots where we were stepping on steep sections with loose rocks moving beneath our feet—and no hand rails! Perfect! Of course, there were still drink and souvenir touts at all the watchtowers, but what can you expect, it’s China. I wore my brand new “Chinese tourist” hat that I had seen Chinese tourists wearing in Guilin.  Im pretty sure I looked ridiculous, but it was very comfortable and I didn’t get sunburned of my face. Mike took lots of cool pictures, here are a few:

Complete with indigenous Chinese visor

Made it to Simatai!

After the hike, we made our way back to Beijing. My hat looked like a duck bill, so, in that spirit we decided we needed some Peking Duck to round out the day. A guy we met from the hike suggested a place he had gone to called “Da Dong Peking Duck.” It sounds like it’s basically the “Frank Pepe” of Peking Duck in Beijing, packed with people and a pretty long wait, and lots of awards and accolades all over the walls of the place. The duck was absolutely delicious. The skin was crispy and perfectly browned like candy. The meat was tender and actually had a nice light flavor to it. It wasn’t greasy at all, and the restaurant itself prides itself on serving duck with less fat to promote healthy diets. The meal was rounded out by a small sherbert and a plate of lychees. Everything for the two of us was about $40 U.S., not too bad for a place this well known. The restaurant was very nice, and we especially liked that the duck cooking section was on display when walking into the place. We are posting food pictures since we got a request from Yoyo for more food pictures. Well, for being a good sport about the “Yoyo” post, we’ll try to post more food pics. Here you go: